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Disadvantages when the mother working outside

Disadvantages when the mother working outside a8VLw
Women are known as the roles of mothers and wives. However, today many women are likely to work outside, which has many disadvantages. With more than 48 percent of women go to work outside, the modern family model is where both husband and wife participate in economic construction. Yet working mothers in Vietnam still need to face the two biggest problems: time and stress control. According to the Survey of Working Mothers in Vietnam by Adecco Vietnam, 75% of mothers spend more than 40 hours a week working at the company. With 8 hours working at the company every day, 33% of mothers still spend at least 2 hours a day doing housework. One of the most important disadvantage is they do not have enough time to take care of their family. Not only time, stress control skills are also a difficult topic for working mothers, with 97. 95% of surveyed mothers saying that they are often stressed when balancing work and family. In addition, they will not have time to educate their children well. Morever they have no time to enjoy themselves or relax. They are too busy to finish their work and take care of their family, after an eight-hour working day, these exhausted women have to do household chores, take care of their husbands and children without having time to relax. So they do not have time to make them become more beautiful. Finally, their health will become worse because they will have to stay up late to get housework and deadlines. Clearly, mothers should not be encouraged to work outside the home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are known
as the roles of mothers and wives.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outside, which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages. With more than 48 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outside, the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
model is where both husband and wife participate in economic construction.
Yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
mothers in Vietnam
still
need to face the two biggest problems:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
control. According to the Survey of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
Mothers in Vietnam by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adecco
Vietnam, 75% of mothers spend more than 40 hours a week
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. With 8 hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
every day, 33% of mothers
still
spend at least 2 hours a day doing housework. One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Please check whether a plural form of 'disadvantage' should be used.
disadvantage
is they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
control
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
also
a difficult topic for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
mothers, with 97. 95% of surveyed mothers saying that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
when balancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
In addition
, they will not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to educate their children well.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
they have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy themselves or relax. They are too busy to finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, after an eight-hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day, these exhausted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do household chores, take care of their husbands and children without having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to relax.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.
Finally
, their health will become worse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay up late to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
housework and deadlines.
Clearly
, mothers should not
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outside the home.
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IELTS essay Disadvantages when the mother working outside

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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