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Directions of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organizations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent v. 2

Directions of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organizations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent v. 2 19AX
There is a different level of salary between managers and employees, who always receive less money. Besides, employers have an opinion that the best management talent is very important for companies in a global market. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages. Firstly, a manager impacts on benefits in a corporation, for their decision can make the efficiency of business operations. Especially, directors of large companies have to work more and more to solve many problems. This is the reason why directors always get well-paid, which is much bigger than normal workers. For example, when I watched the interviews of directors working in multinational companies, such as Apple, Facebook and Amazon. They said that they got much more stressful day by day, it is because many problems need their decisions. It is not easy to receive a high salary. On the other hand, employers should hire managers who has not only talent but also great knowledge. There are many different things among countries in the world, so a director has to get an extensive awareness. Moreover, the talent is suitable for the business lines of corporation. A good illustration of this is employers should not be a management talent in industrial production if their business is in technology, such as Facebook or Google. Directors also have soft skills, which is necessary to manage employees and service customers. In conclusion, employers of large enterprises pay a lot of money for directors receiving higher wage growth than normal workers. It is important to hire the management talent, which is suitable for employers
There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
level of salary between managers and employees, who always receive less money.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
have an opinion that the best management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in a global market. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly
, a manager impacts on benefits in a corporation, for their decision can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the efficiency of business operations.
Especially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
of large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work more and more to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems. This is the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well-paid, which is much bigger than normal workers.
For example
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the interviews of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
working in multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as Apple, Facebook and Amazon. They said that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
much more stressful day by day, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems need their decisions. It is not easy to receive a high salary.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
should hire managers who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'managers' should be used.
has
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
great knowledge. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things among countries in the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
director
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an extensive awareness.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is suitable for the business lines of corporation. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
should not be a management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in industrial production if their business is in technology, such as Facebook or Google.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Directors
also
have soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which is necessary to manage employees and service customers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
of large enterprises pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
directors
receiving higher wage growth than normal workers. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to hire the management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
, which is suitable for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
employers
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IELTS essay Directions of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers Employers organizations say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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