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Different people have various beliefs. Some consider that to accept whatever situation like job unsatisfaction or lack of money, whereas others cannot agree on these circumstances.

Different people have various beliefs. Some consider that to accept whatever situation like job unsatisfaction or lack of money, whereas others cannot agree on these circumstances. KVqq6
Different people have various beliefs. Some consider that to accept whatever situation like job unsatisfaction or lack of money, whereas others cannot agree on these circumstances. Some think that they cannot change their fortune and they are trying to adjust whatever situation happens. They are content themselves for better or for worse and doesn’t dare to express their feelings. They accept the life god has given them. In contrast, self-actualization persons are trying to get job satisfaction and enjoyment out of the present moment. They understand what they need to gain a sense of fulfillment. They are trying to find both more opportunities to jump from their present job and more ways to earn their income. There is a quote that I heard previously “You can choose to enjoy life or choose to suffer from the pain it gives”. As my point of view, I can understand both types of conception. They don’t want to escape from these bad situations because of sluggishness or scare, I think that they are not worth to stay in this valuable life. Due to their low self-esteem, it is acceptable and considered as they are not greedy so much. However, the world is rounding every day and doesn’t pause even a second. Therefore, we must work hard to get better and improved conditions. In a nutshell, life is so long and mixed with dissimilar community. Consequently, we need to adjust all kinds of society when we meet in our daily environment. As a suggestion, I encourage those people who struggle a lot to find better life whatever obstacles find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have various beliefs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
consider that to accept whatever situation like job unsatisfaction or lack of money, whereas others cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on these circumstances.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fortune and
they are trying to adjust whatever situation happens. They are content themselves for better or for worse and doesn’t dare to express their feelings. They accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
god has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
them.
In contrast
, self-actualization persons are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job satisfaction and enjoyment out of the present moment. They understand what they need to gain a sense of fulfillment. They are trying to find both more opportunities to jump from their present job and more ways to earn their income.

There is a quote that I heard previously “You can choose to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or choose to suffer from the pain it gives”. As my point of view, I can understand both types of conception. They don’t want to escape from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sluggishness or scare, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are not worth to stay in this valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Due to their low self-esteem, it is acceptable and considered as they are not greedy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
However
, the world is rounding every day and doesn’t pause even a second.
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
conditions.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long and mixed with dissimilar community.
Consequently
, we need to adjust all kinds of society when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in our daily environment. As a suggestion, I encourage those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who struggle a lot to find better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
whatever obstacles find
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
out
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IELTS essay Different people have various beliefs. Some consider that to accept whatever situation like job unsatisfaction or lack of money, whereas others cannot agree on these circumstances.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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