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The given chart illustrates how many years that males and females studied at schools from 2000 to 2010 while the second graphs show information about the percentage of various qualifications that people got in 2000 and 2010

The given chart illustrates how many years that males and females studied at schools from 2000 to 2010 while the second graphs show information about the percentage of various qualifications that people got in 2000 and 2010 O6n5k
The given chart illustrates how many years that males and females studied at schools from 2000 to 2010 while the second graphs show information about the percentage of various qualifications that people got in 2000 and 2010. Overall, it is crystal clear that the number of years that adult females took part in schools was always greater than that of girl students and a gradual increase was seen in the figures for both genders. In terms of the pie charts. there were some significant changes in the percentages of all these qualifications. Regarding the first chart, in 2000, boys spent about 9 years studying at schools which was about 1% greater than that of girls. From 2000 to 2010, it increased gradually and in 2010, the number of years that adult males learnt at schools reached nearly 12 years. In addition, the same trend was seen in the figures for adult females. According to the pie charts, in 2000, the rate of secondary school qualification and high school qualification together accounted for nearly 60% while the figures for master certification ranked third with 25. 7%. The rate of two remaining ones were 7. 5% and 8. 3% respectively. After 10 years, there was a four fold increase in their percentage of university qualification while a same trend was seen in the figures for master qualification. By contrast, the proportion of highschool qualification, secondary school qualification and primary school certification decreased dramatically and in 2010, they were 19. 55%, 15. 2% and 2. 1%.
The
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given
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chart
illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years that males and females studied at
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schools
from 2000 to 2010 while the second graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
information about the percentage of various
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qualifications
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
in 2000 and 2010.

Overall
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the number of years that adult females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
was always greater than that of girl students and a gradual increase was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
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figures
for both genders. In terms of the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the percentages of all these qualifications.

Regarding the
first
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chart
, in 2000, boys spent about 9 years studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which was about 1% greater than that of girls. From 2000 to 2010, it increased
gradually
and in 2010, the number of years that adult males
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
reached
nearly
12 years.
In addition
, the same trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for adult females.

According to the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
, in 2000, the rate of secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
together accounted for
nearly
60% while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for master certification ranked third with 25. 7%. The rate of two remaining ones were 7. 5% and 8. 3%
respectively
. After 10 years, there was a four fold increase in their percentage of university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
while a same trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
. By contrast, the proportion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
, secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
and primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
certification decreased
dramatically
and in 2010, they were 19. 55%, 15. 2% and 2. 1%.
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IELTS essay The given chart illustrates how many years that males and females studied at schools from 2000 to 2010 while the second graphs show information about the percentage of various qualifications that people got in 2000 and 2010

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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