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NOWADAYS, ALL OVER THE WORLD, PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME FASHIONS, ADVERTISING, BRANDS, EATING HABITS AND TV CHANNELS SINCE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COUNTRIES BECOME LESS EVIDENT EACH YEAR. WHAT ARE THE REASONS? DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES OF THIS? v.2

NOWADAYS, ALL OVER THE WORLD, PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME FASHIONS, ADVERTISING, BRANDS, EATING HABITS AND TV CHANNELS SINCE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COUNTRIES BECOME LESS EVIDENT EACH YEAR. WHAT ARE THE REASONS? DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES OF THIS? v. 2
Thanks to the globalization in the recent decades, the cultural gaps between nations have been bridged significantly. With a better mutual understanding, citizens are no longer difficult to adopt the unique aspects of the foreign cultures such as eating habits, fashion trend or interior decorations. In my point of view, the benefits of global integration do outnumber the demerits due to several reasons. To begin with, there are some striking disadvantages of this trend that we should be concerned about. Firstly, there is a spread of cross-cultural materialistic lifestyle and attitude which may deprive us of humanity and generosity. For instance, the role of TV advertisements in most of the cases is related to the concept of materialism. This phenomenon is demonstrated in other cultures and the net global result tends to reinforce the terminal materialism that buying is for the frivolous purposes instead of seeking for the fundamental requirements. Moreover, the aggressive spread of market economies and communication technology poses a threat to the existence of local cultures and values. The West has endeavored to undermine their cultural heritage by imposing thief religion and policies. The true identity and culture are in jeopardy with the influence of alien cultures since youngsters nowadays pay less attention to their history and tradition while gaining more preoccupation with machine-centric life. On the other hand, sharing the similar traditions and using the global fashion brands probably bring some major advantages. To clarify, Highland Coffee, which is a prominent coffee chain, has grown incessantly to a thousand shops in approximately sixty nations. Besides, global integration has facilitated several brands to sell product and gain access to potential customers all around the world. Several identical stores serve clothes that are prevalent to millions of individuals, from dresses, jeans to T-shirts in Tokyo, Paris or even the developing regions like Hanoi. People are free to enjoy their gown, eating habits and other aspects of diverse universal specialties served in their countries. The more vigorous the bonds among people are, the more mutual understanding will be enhanced, thereby helping us maintaining the peace of the world. In conclusion, international integration is inevitable and this trend should be supported on account of its long-term benefits on the development of society.
Thanks to the globalization in the recent decades, the cultural gaps between nations have
been bridged
significantly
. With a better mutual understanding, citizens are no longer difficult to adopt the unique aspects of the foreign
cultures
such as eating habits, fashion trend or interior decorations. In my point of view, the benefits of
global
integration do outnumber the demerits due to several reasons.

To
begin
with, there are
some
striking disadvantages of this trend that we should
be concerned
about.
Firstly
, there is a spread of cross-cultural materialistic lifestyle and attitude which may deprive us of humanity and generosity.
For instance
, the role of TV advertisements in most of the cases
is related
to the concept of materialism. This phenomenon
is demonstrated
in other
cultures
and the net
global
result tends to reinforce the terminal materialism that buying is for the frivolous purposes
instead
of seeking for the fundamental requirements.
Moreover
, the aggressive spread of market economies and communication technology poses a threat to the existence of local
cultures
and values. The West has endeavored to undermine their cultural heritage by imposing thief religion and policies. The true identity and
culture
are in jeopardy with the influence of alien
cultures
since youngsters nowadays pay less attention to their history and tradition while gaining more preoccupation with machine-centric life.

On the other hand
, sharing the similar traditions and using the
global
fashion brands
probably
bring
some
major advantages. To clarify, Highland Coffee, which is a prominent coffee chain, has grown
incessantly
to a thousand shops in approximately sixty nations.
Besides
,
global
integration has facilitated several brands to sell product and gain access to potential customers all around the world. Several identical stores serve clothes that are prevalent to millions of individuals, from dresses, jeans to T-shirts in Tokyo, Paris or even the developing regions like Hanoi.
People
are free to enjoy their gown, eating habits and other aspects of diverse universal specialties served in their countries. The more vigorous the bonds among
people
are, the more mutual understanding will
be enhanced
, thereby helping us
maintaining
the peace of the world.

In conclusion
, international integration is inevitable and this trend should
be supported
on account of its long-term benefits on the development of society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay NOWADAYS, ALL OVER THE WORLD, PEOPLE SHARE THE SAME FASHIONS, ADVERTISING, BRANDS, EATING HABITS AND TV CHANNELS SINCE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COUNTRIES BECOME LESS EVIDENT EACH YEAR. WHAT ARE THE REASONS? DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES OF THIS? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria