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Dietary experts agree that many people have unhealthy diets. What do you think are the causes of this. What solutions can you suggest?

Dietary experts agree that many people have unhealthy diets. What do you think are the causes of this. What solutions can you suggest? xmOmo
Many people believe that unhealthy diets have become a significant problem nowadays. One cause of this issue may be the lack of time people have to prepare healthy food and the less exsersizes they do these days. Seen all together, those causes might result in gaining weight, heart problems or even obesity. Valuable suggestions in order to decrease those habits are to consume more fruit and vegetables and practice a sport. Obesity and weight gain are part of the most significant results of eating unhealthy because people don’t exsersize quite as much and eat bad for their bodies food. One cause of unhealthy dietig in busy schedule that people have these days. That means that people tend to order food more because of lack of time they have due to working. Another cause might be the increasing number of junk-food restaurants that are placed everywhere. For example, in my city on the main street there are two KFCs and four Mc’Donalds and many more pizza restaurants. One possible solution may be to remove a significant number of junk-food takeaways. Moreover, the less fast food restaurants there are, the less people will consume unhealthy food. Also, another suggestion is to place a higher tax on those who sell unhealthy meals. This will result in prise rise and less people will want to buy the food. Perhaps the most important solution is to decline the prices of the seasonal fruits and vegetables so more people are able to afford them. For example, building vending machines in the offices containing salads, joghurts on a reasonable price will be a great solution to the issue of unhealthy dieting. To sum up, there are a number of reasons for the lack of healthy eating. However many suggestions are also a fact. Such as a decrease in the price of many fruits and vegetables, which I believe is the most valuable solution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
believe that
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unhealthy
diets have become a significant problem nowadays. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this issue may be the lack of time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prepare healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the
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less
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exsersizes
they do these days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Seen
all together, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
might result in gaining weight, heart problems or even obesity. Valuable suggestions in order to decrease those habits are to consume more fruit and vegetables and practice a sport.

Obesity and weight gain are part of the most significant results of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
Possible spelling mistake found.
exsersize
quite as much and eat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their bodies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. One
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cause
of
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unhealthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
dietig
in busy schedule that
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people
have these days. That means that
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people
tend to order
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food
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of time they have due to working. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
might be the increasing number of junk-food restaurants that
are placed
everywhere.
For example
, in my city on the main street there are two
Possible spelling mistake found.
KFCs
and four
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mc
’
Possible spelling mistake found.
Donalds
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more pizza restaurants.

One possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
may be to remove a significant number of junk-food takeaways.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants there are, the
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Also
, another suggestion is to place a higher tax on those who sell
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unhealthy
meals. This will result in
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prise
rise and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
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people
will want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Perhaps the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
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solution
is to decline the prices of the seasonal fruits and vegetables
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to afford them.
For example
, building vending machines in the offices containing salads,
Possible spelling mistake found.
joghurts
on a reasonable price will be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
dieting.

To sum up, there are a number of reasons for the lack of healthy eating.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
suggestions are
also
a fact. Such as a decrease in the price of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fruits and vegetables, which I believe is the most valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
.
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IELTS essay Dietary experts agree that many people have unhealthy diets. What do you think are the causes of this. What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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