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development of honey bee and the process

development of honey bee and the process XV7pE
The picture represents the evolution of a honey bee. There are total six stages involved, in the whole process. The female honey bee lays one or two eggs, every third day. The eggs are incubated and hatch between nine to ten days. After five days a small honey bee comes out of the egg. By the next seven days, it grows a little in size. Subsequently, by the nineth day the nymph or the small baby honey bee increases in girth. Within this period of growth, it also sheds its wings and skin, thrice. Immediately after nine days, a young adult appears. During this whole phenomena, the honey bee keeps gaining length and weight. After four days, a mature honey bee comes into existence. This whole process of evolution takes around 34-36 days. Once the honey bee transforms into an adult one, from an egg, the whole cycle starts all over again.
The picture represents the evolution of a honey bee. There are total six stages involved, in the
whole
process. The female honey bee lays one or two eggs, every third day. The eggs
are incubated
and hatch
between nine to ten
days.
After
five days a
small
honey bee
comes
out of the egg. By the
next
seven days, it grows a
little
in size.
Subsequently
, by the
nineth
day the nymph or the
small
baby honey bee increases in girth. Within this period of growth, it
also
sheds its wings and skin, thrice.

Immediately after nine days, a young adult appears. During this
whole
phenomena, the honey bee
keeps
gaining length and weight. After four days, a mature honey bee
comes
into existence. This
whole
process of evolution takes around 34-36 days.

Once the honey bee transforms into an adult one, from an egg, the
whole
cycle
starts
all over again.
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IELTS essay development of honey bee and the process

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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