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Despite huge improvement in health care the overall standard of physical health in many deveop country is now falling.what are the reason for this and how can be problem to be tackle

Despite huge improvement in health care the overall standard of physical health in many deveop country is now falling. what are the reason for this and how can be problem to be tackle Yg1K5
Exercise is the most significant part of every human life. Nowadays medical services are flourishing where as, in many nations standard of fitness level is decreas. So further paragraph I will discuss some cause and givr solutions. To begin, there are several reasons for this physical health. Today's people lifestyle is sedentary life. But the most of people busy in their studies and jobs, because they earn money and gain knowledge for fulfill their goal, make a bright future. For example, now people are working, thier are having stressful job instead of they doing a personal care of life, there is creation on health issues because many jobs are give a more burden. However, the most previous reason is junk food, they reduce fitness level and increase fat. It is harmful to people health. Moreover, the government should started the program for healthy life, so make people awareness about the trouble in unhealthy lifestyle. Authorities also provide fund for physical health care so people gain knowledge about fitness level. Then people should also avoid junk food. For instance now people are doing hardwork and stressful job so company should provide some sessions, crucial activity like, fitness related game and gym so people reduce their stress in between or after job. To conclude, people should doing exercises everyday, and the government should also investment in health care facility, so people live a healthy lifestyle.
Exercise is the most significant part of every human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Nowadays medical services are flourishing
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
level is
Possible spelling mistake found.
decreas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
further
paragraph I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cause and
Possible spelling mistake found.
givr
solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are several reasons for this physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lifestyle is sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
busy in their studies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they earn money and gain knowledge for fulfill their goal,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a bright future.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
are having stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
instead
of
Did you mean "they're doing", "they are doing", or "they were doing"?
they doing
a personal care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, there is creation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are give a more burden.
However
, the most previous reason is junk food, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
level and increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
. It is harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health.

Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "start"
started
the program for healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
awareness about the trouble in unhealthy lifestyle. Authorities
also
provide fund for physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
level. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
avoid junk food.
For instance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sessions, crucial activity like,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
related game and gym
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in between or after job.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "do"
doing
exercises
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care facility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy lifestyle.
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IELTS essay Despite huge improvement in health care the overall standard of physical health in many deveop country is now falling. what are the reason for this and how can be problem to be tackle

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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