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Despite having a number of fitness facilities, more and more people are having a sedentary lifestyle nowadays. What are the causes OS this?. Does this have positive or negative effects

Despite having a number of fitness facilities, more and more people are having a sedentary lifestyle nowadays. What are the causes OS this? . Does this have positive or negative effects 8GpA5
Although there are many sports facilities such as gyms and fitness centers, the number of people leading an inactive lifestyle is growing more that ever before. The causes and in of this my opinion trend are This has veried, adverse impact not only physical but also on psychological health of human The most important reason is that a sedentary lifestyle are identified as developments in transportation means as well as increasing popularity of social networks. Firstly, recent advances in transports have enabled humanity to reach their destinations without any noticeable efforts, meaning that they tend to remain passive while they are moving in the motorized transport. Take, for example, a private car that entitles its owner to get workplace faster yet without physical strain. Previously, an average person dedicated a great deal of their spare time on socialising. The effects have been and will continue to be very serious. The greatest of these is obesity, a health condition when we consume more calories that we burn. An inactive individual frequently stays at home in his comfort leisure time. Therefore, they have multiple snacks while watching TV series or chatting with their friends online. If this happens consistently, this abuse of food will certain lead excess weight. Another possible effect is mental disorders including depression. As a person spends most of their time passively, their social circle will shrink respectively To sum up, it is evident that there are several causes and a variety of negative effects of a passive lifestyle on human's health
Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sports facilities such as gyms and fitness centers, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
leading an inactive lifestyle is growing more that ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The causes and in of this my opinion trend are This has
Possible spelling mistake found.
veried
, adverse impact not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on psychological health of human

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that a sedentary lifestyle
are identified
as developments in transportation means
as well
as increasing popularity of social networks.
Firstly
, recent advances in transports have enabled humanity to reach their destinations without any noticeable efforts, meaning that they tend to remain passive while they are moving in the motorized transport. Take,
for example
, a private car that entitles its owner to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
workplace faster
yet
without physical strain. Previously, an average person dedicated a great deal of their spare time on
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
. The effects have been and will continue to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious. The greatest of these is obesity, a health condition when we consume more calories that we burn. An inactive individual
frequently
stays at home in his comfort leisure time.
Therefore
, they have multiple snacks while watching TV series or chatting with their friends online. If this happens
consistently
, this abuse of food will certain lead excess weight. Another possible effect is mental disorders including depression. As a person spends most of their time
passively
, their social circle will shrink
respectively
To sum up, it is evident that there are several causes and a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of a passive lifestyle on human's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
health
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IELTS essay Despite having a number of fitness facilities, more and more people are having a sedentary lifestyle nowadays. What are the causes OS this? . Does this have positive or negative effects

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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