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Despite a large number of gyms a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? and What solution can you suggest

Despite a large number of gyms a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? and What solution can you suggest bYDDg
Now a days all the work can be done online which is making people idle and diverting them towards sedentary life. The following essay will discuss regarding its issue and how can we solve this problem. Due to digitalization people are becoming more stationary in their life which is causing severe problems like rotundness and backbone related problem. Moreover, due to videogames, television and mobile phone obesity has increased and yet people are using them more frequently. However, research suggest that gaining weight is a major concern which is leading towards high blood pressure, heart attack and many other several life threatening diseases. For example, the research done by Medical University of Science shows that 70 to 80 % people dies due to heart failure which is majorly caused by high cholesterol which is generated to idleness. To overcome I would like to suggest people should start walking daily. As we have a busy lifestyle due to jobs and many other reasons. So, it is easy to walk daily for an hour to remove extra fat. However, there are many gyms, yoga classes which is helping people to reduce stress and body fat. Therefore, do join those and we can reduce all the external body fat and make our body fit and healthier. Study also suggests by doing exercise your brain become more active. In conclusion, living inactive life will increase lots of health issues which are severe and can become life threatening. Therefore, people should start doing daily exercise to make their body healthy and fit.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
all the work can
be done
online which is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
idle and diverting them towards sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The following essay will discuss regarding its issue and how can we solve this problem.

Due to digitalization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more stationary in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which is causing severe problems like rotundness and backbone related problem.
Moreover
, due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
videogames
, television and mobile phone obesity has increased and
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using them more
frequently
.
However
, research suggest that gaining weight is a major concern which is leading towards high blood pressure, heart attack and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
threatening diseases.
For example
, the research done by Medical University of Science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 70 to 80 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
dies
due to heart failure which is
majorly
caused by high cholesterol which
is generated
to idleness.

To overcome I would like to suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
walking daily. As we have a busy lifestyle due to jobs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is easy to walk daily for an hour to remove extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gyms, yoga classes which is helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.
Therefore
, do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
those and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
all the external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
fit and healthier. Study
also
suggests by doing exercise your brain become more active.

In conclusion
, living inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will increase lots of health issues which are severe and can become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
threatening.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing daily exercise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
healthy and fit.
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IELTS essay Despite a large number of gyms a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? and What solution can you suggest

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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