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Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest? v.16

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 16
The health industry is going to be the diamond industry in coming years. Lazy lifestyle is becoming more popular in today's world in spite of having a large number of gyms. This inactive routine has led to increase in health problems such as obesity, cervical or depression. To solve this problem, initiatives should be taken by the government, NGOs and individual as well to spread awareness among people. Obesity is the main outcome of sedentary lifestyle since there is no physical activity involved. Sitting all day at the same place throughout the day not only making one lazy, but also increasing the fat percentage of the people. There is less number of people taking membership of gyms, though there is a wide range of gyms available. And even if they take membership, they visit the gyms very less. For instance, one may take annual membership, but may not be regular in going there. Hence, more quantity of such facilities really don't help. To tackle the problem of sedentary way of living, there could be awareness campaigns which could help in motivating people to start exercising more. Even if these activities persuade people to just even take the walk for 5 minutes after every half an hour, it could benefit them a lot. Gyms could be made more interesting by offering discounts and other promotions to make it more attractive to the crowd. The campaign could include different methods, for example, posters, acts or short videos. As a result of this, one can hope that people may take steps to do some physical activities on their own. To conclude, although there is the presence of a large number of gyms, people don't actually join them, which eventually leads to health problems such as obesity. Solution to handle this problem could be awareness initiatives or making gym more people friendly.
The health industry is going to be the diamond industry in coming years. Lazy lifestyle is becoming more popular in
today
's world
in spite of
having
a large number of
gyms
. This inactive routine has led to increase in health
problems
such as obesity, cervical or depression. To solve this
problem
, initiatives should
be taken
by the
government
, NGOs and individual
as well
to spread awareness among
people
.

Obesity is the main outcome of sedentary lifestyle since there is no physical activity involved. Sitting all day at the same place throughout the day not
only
making one lazy,
but
also
increasing the
fat
percentage of the
people
. There is less number of
people
taking membership of
gyms
, though there is a wide range of
gyms
available. And even if they take membership, they visit the
gyms
very
less.
For instance
, one may take annual membership,
but
may not be regular in going there.
Hence
, more quantity of such facilities
really
don't
help
.

To tackle the
problem
of sedentary way of living, there could be awareness campaigns which could
help
in motivating
people
to
start
exercising more. Even if these activities persuade
people
to
just
even take the walk for 5 minutes after every half an hour, it could benefit them a lot.
Gyms
could
be made
more interesting by offering discounts and other promotions to
make
it more attractive to the crowd. The campaign could include
different
methods,
for example
, posters, acts or short videos.
As a result
of this, one can hope that
people
may take
steps to do
some
physical activities on their
own
.

To conclude
, although there is the presence of
a large number of
gyms
,
people
don't actually
join
them, which
eventually
leads to health
problems
such as obesity. Solution to handle this
problem
could be awareness initiatives or making
gym
more
people
friendly.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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