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Descriptive Writing - Busy Train Station in Delhi

Descriptive Writing - Busy Train Station in Delhi o8k3B
It is a hive of activity. The crowd diapason from tourists to locals to pick pocketers to people who were starting new lives – with their all their possessions on their backs, ready to board a train, for the canards and tails of a novel, a new, a nourishing new life. Swallowed, by the bold buzzes, the babel and bluster – I sit silent amid all pandemonium. The blare of the gossip of people, chattering and cackling, is a vivace, a forte, a polyphonic overture in music. And following would the bold horn of some polluting locomotive or the like, would sound of a thousand trumpets being blown across your ears. It is the fortississimo. And then came the clatter and squeaks of the rail and the rusting metal wheels of the carriages, as they rushed towards me at cumbersome, but dreadful, affrighted speeds. The corners would be blanketed by this announcer, with a parroting and terrifying monotonic, robotic carolling, with he or she, repeating the most dull and unintelligible informations. It is quieter than the pianississimo, but in effect is louder than any fortississimo. Such will become the musicians, the bass, the percussion, the woodwinds, and strings for, that compose and collect for the loudest orchestra I have ever heard. There is a balmy feeling, but a juxtaposing bleak feeling. There is families reuniting, but always a sharp, penetrating and frigid feeling that pierces me. I am alone, in the midst of hundreds of people. People of flamboyant colours, colours of fruit and having of the symphony like flowers, crawl, and inch out of the paint-peeling carriages. I could see the air being sucked away by the free victims of the boa-constrictor of a carriage. The humidity rapidly rose, and I felt like I was sick. The flowers had withered and even in the stomach of the boa constrictor, would have had more air to breathe through then here. I squeezed through those horrid doors that would soon slip and close improperly. I gauged each step, skimming between the endless amounts of luggage. My legs screamed for a break, and I managed to purloin a hard wooden seat – that had seen better days for certain. A quick jolt, and I saw the platform inch further and further away, as the hydraulic doors struggled to close. I put my head to rest against a scratched pole and closed my eyes.
It is a hive of activity. The crowd diapason from tourists to locals to pick
pocketers
to
people
who were starting new
lives
with their all their possessions on their backs, ready to board a train, for the canards and tails of a novel, a new, a nourishing new life. Swallowed, by the bold buzzes, the babel and bluster
I sit silent amid all pandemonium. The blare of the gossip of
people
, chattering and cackling, is a vivace, a forte, a polyphonic overture in music. And following would the bold horn of
some
polluting locomotive or the like, would sound of a thousand trumpets
being blown
across your ears. It is the
fortississimo
. And then came the clatter and squeaks of the rail and the rusting metal wheels of the carriages, as they rushed towards me at cumbersome,
but
dreadful,
affrighted
speeds. The corners would
be blanketed
by this announcer, with a parroting and terrifying monotonic, robotic
carolling
, with he or she, repeating
the most dull
and unintelligible
informations
. It is quieter than the
pianississimo
,
but
in effect is louder than any
fortississimo
. Such will become the musicians, the bass, the percussion, the woodwinds, and strings for, that compose and collect for the loudest orchestra I have ever heard.

There is a balmy feeling,
but
a juxtaposing bleak feeling.
There is families
reuniting,
but
always a sharp, penetrating and frigid feeling that pierces me. I am alone, in the midst of hundreds of
people
.
People
of flamboyant
colours
,
colours
of fruit and having of the symphony like flowers, crawl, and inch out of the paint-peeling carriages. I could
see
the air
being sucked
away by the free victims of the boa-constrictor of a carriage. The humidity
rapidly
rose, and I felt like I was sick. The flowers had withered and even in the stomach of the boa constrictor, would have had more air to breathe through
then
here. I squeezed through those horrid doors that would
soon
slip and close
improperly
. I gauged each step, skimming between the endless amounts of luggage. My legs screamed for a break, and I managed to purloin a
hard
wooden seat
that had
seen
better days for certain. A quick jolt, and I
saw
the platform inch
further
and
further
away, as the hydraulic doors struggled to close. I put my head to rest against a scratched pole and closed my eyes.
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IELTS essay Descriptive Writing - Busy Train Station in Delhi

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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