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Describing the ways in which elephants fascinate humans TPO51

Describing the ways in which elephants fascinate humans TPO51 RNnnk
The reading and the lecture are both contradicting each other, in terms of certain beliefs about elephant behaviors. The author of the article reveals three theories about the elephant's behavior. However, the lecturer casts doubt about the claim mentioned in the article and refutes all the theories explained in the article. According to the article, the first dispute focuses on the assumption that elephants can feel their death ahead of time and would prefer to boycott themselves from other elephants and live alone near water spots. Nonetheless, the speaker negates the argument presented in the passage. Furthermore, he discusses that it is fact that elderly elephants live near water spots, but it does not mean they want to live alone from their groups. As the elephant grows older, gradually their teeth become weaker, and can only chew soft vegetation which is easily available near the river. Therefore, eventually, older elephants like to move to such places and die in those places as well. Moreover, another passage highlights that elephants have an artistic ability and can paint some figures, while the narrator refutes this by asserting that elephants are always trained to draw some lines, yet it neither represents any figures or pictures nor it shows their ability to paint. Moreover, a trainer beside them continuously manages their painting by touching their ears. In reality, the elephant's ears are very sensitive, and by touching them, the trainers can force them to take the paintbrush, and guide them while painting. Hence, the reading theory is absolutely unconvincing. Last but not least, the text explains that elephants are afraid of mice. On the contrary, the speaker again opposes the theory and describes that elephant's reaction towards mice is obvious because mice are unfamiliar to them, and in such case, mice might threaten them by being fearful for them. As a result, elephants usually back away from mice and try to avoid them. But, once mice will get familiar with them, elephants would stop reacting this way which proves elephants do not fear of mice.
The reading and the lecture are both contradicting each other, in terms of certain beliefs about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
behaviors. The author of the article reveals three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theories
about the elephant's behavior.
However
, the lecturer casts doubt about the claim mentioned in the article and refutes all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the article.

According to the article, the
first
dispute focuses on the assumption that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
can feel their death ahead of time and would prefer to boycott themselves from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone near water spots. Nonetheless, the speaker negates the argument presented in the passage.
Furthermore
, he discusses that it is fact that elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near water spots,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone from their groups. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
grows older,
gradually
their teeth become weaker, and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
chew soft vegetation which is
easily
available near the river.
Therefore
,
eventually
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to such places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in those places
as well
.

Moreover
, another passage highlights that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
have an artistic ability and can paint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
figures, while the narrator refutes this by asserting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
are always trained to draw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lines,
yet
it neither represents any figures or pictures nor it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
their ability to paint.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Moreover
, a trainer beside them
continuously
manages their painting by touching their ears. In reality, the elephant's ears are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive, and by touching them, the trainers can force them to take the paintbrush, and guide them while painting.
Hence
, the reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
is
absolutely
unconvincing.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the text
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
are afraid of mice.
On the contrary
, the speaker again opposes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
that elephant's reaction towards mice is obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mice are unfamiliar to them, and in such case, mice might threaten them by being fearful for them.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
usually
back away from mice and try to avoid them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, once mice will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
reacting this way which proves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
do not fear of mice.
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IELTS essay Describing the ways in which elephants fascinate humans TPO51

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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