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Describing of a solution to a problem

Describing of a solution to a problem q1EPP
Do you want to know where the natural gas of Kazakhstan is? The residents of my town - Turkestan - would too, because unavailable gas evolved into a big problem for them. For 3. 5 years, the town citizens have tried their best to get natural gas. Last winter was extremely pleasant: all the urban areas were already supplied with gas. Previously, living without gas became harder in the winters. Why in the winter? Coal ( people used instead of gas ) was in the atmosphere: blackish snow on the ground, a constant gray fog in the sky. Trying to breathe with clean air, we smelled unpleasant carbon, and even on our clothes. Our city transformed into a one with low ecology and life quality - people’s average longevity was reducing. In front of our eyes, the issue became visible to the administration, and they started providing gas inside the city. Thin yellow tubes and meters were run the length of the entire city. Turkestan looked like a city with holes in the ground for 3 years, but it was the best way to wire the gas. After the government’s actions, we have started seeing Turkestan in the rank of ecologically safe areas. Finally, Turkestan could return natural gas, so we live like 21st-century citizens: with clean air and modern gas-supplied houses. We consider the villages Karasyk and Chaga near us should also provide gas as fast as possible. After all, gas unavailability should not be a problem anywhere.
Do you want to know where the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
of Kazakhstan is? The residents of my town
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Turkestan
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
would too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unavailable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
evolved into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for them. For 3. 5 years, the town citizens have tried their best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
. Last winter was
extremely
pleasant: all the urban areas were already supplied with gas.

Previously, living without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
became harder in the winters. Why in the winter? Coal
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
was in the atmosphere: blackish snow on the ground, a constant gray fog in the sky. Trying to breathe with clean air, we smelled unpleasant carbon, and even on our clothes. Our city transformed into a one with low ecology and life quality
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s average longevity was reducing.

In front of our eyes, the issue became visible to the administration, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
inside the city. Thin yellow tubes and meters
were run
the length of the entire city. Turkestan looked like a city with holes in the ground for 3 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was the best way to wire the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
. After the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s actions, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
seeing Turkestan in the rank of
ecologically
safe areas.

Finally
, Turkestan could return natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like 21st-century citizens: with clean air and modern gas-supplied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. We consider the villages
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karasyk
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chaga
near us should
also
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as possible.
After all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
unavailability should not be a problem anywhere.
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IELTS essay Describing of a solution to a problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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