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describing a trip that you enjoy the most

describing a trip that you enjoy the most 6K23l
I believe a journey gives us more entertainment and also it is helpful to give us more experience. As it is said that travel broadens the mind. I personally love travelling specially to other countries to see different cultures, try different dishes. I always enjoy visiting new places. Today i would like to talk about one of my trips which i took with my son about 3 years ago, before the pandemic of corona virus. We had 3 or 4 days ahead when we were both on holiday. We decided to have fun, enjoy ourselves, be relaxed out of town. We planned to go to Kish Island. As we wanted to save time and of course it's such a long distance between Tehran and Kish, we decided to go there by airplane. So i took 2 tickets and booked a hotel reservation. While we were there we experienced many things like fishing, cycling, scuba-diving, boating and parasailing. Every night we were walking beside the beach near our hotel. But the most exciting one was watching the animals in the zoo like ostrich, penguins specially dolphins which were dancing with their coach in water. It was a great experience. We had such a good time that we didn't notice it's the last day of our trip and we should go back. It was one of my unforgettable trips that every time i look at the pictures we took, I miss being there a lot.
I believe a journey gives us more entertainment and
also
it is helpful to give us more experience.
As
it
is said
that travel broadens the mind. I
personally
love
travelling
specially
to other countries to
see
different
cultures, try
different
dishes. I always enjoy visiting new places.
Today
i
would like to talk about one of my trips which
i
took with my son about 3 years ago,
before
the pandemic of
corona virus
. We had 3 or 4 days ahead when we were both on holiday. We decided to have fun, enjoy ourselves,
be relaxed
out of town.
We
planned to go to
Kish
Island. As we wanted to save time and
of course
it's such a long distance between Tehran and
Kish
, we decided to go there by airplane.
So
i
took 2 tickets and booked a hotel reservation. While we were there we experienced
many
things like fishing, cycling, scuba-diving, boating and parasailing. Every night we were walking beside the beach near our hotel.
But
the most exciting one was watching the animals in the zoo like ostrich, penguins
specially
dolphins which were dancing with their coach in water. It was a great experience. We had such a
good
time that we didn't notice it's the last day of our
trip and
we should go back. It was one of my unforgettable trips that every time
i
look at the pictures we took, I miss being there a lot.
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IELTS essay describing a trip that you enjoy the most

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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