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Describe Unforgettable journey that you have made. Mention where it was too, who you were with, how are you travelled, what you did and so during the journey how you felt. Explain why you will never forget it.

I was in a competition with my cheerleading team to Bosco. We had to wake up early so that we can be travelling by 6 am. Around 5 o’clock in the morning almost everyone was ready and was waiting for the bus which had took us To the resort. While we were waiting, we decided to take some photos. We were shaving firm and by then, we knew that we will have a great time on our journey. After a couple of hours travelling, we finally arrived. We were busy, the whole day, with dancing, and our hotel was far from the centre, so we hadn’t the opportunity to go sightseeing. Add evening, after dinner, we went out for a walk around the hotel. We could talk about life and everything. That broke every eyes that we had between us and made us close to each other. I’m so happy that I got the chance to meet these people and I’m thankful for the unforgettable journey we had which made us a better team!
I was in a competition with my cheerleading team to Bosco. We had to wake up early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can be travelling by 6 am. Around 5 o’clock in the morning almost everyone was ready and was waiting for the bus which had
Use past participle here: “taken”.
took
us To the resort. While we were waiting, we decided to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
photos. We were shaving firm and by then, we knew that we will have a great time on our journey. After a couple of hours travelling, we
finally
arrived. We were busy, the whole day, with dancing, and our hotel was far from the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centre’ is British English.
centre
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we hadn’t the opportunity to go sightseeing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Add
evening, after dinner, we went out for a walk around the hotel. We could talk about life and everything. That broke every eyes that we had between us and made us close to each other. I’m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
these
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
I’m thankful for the unforgettable journey we had which made us a better team!

IELTS essay Describe Unforgettable journey that you have made. Mention where it was too, who you were with, how are you travelled, what you did and so during the journey how you felt. Explain why you will never forget it.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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