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describe the world you came from which shaped your dreams

describe the world you came from which shaped your dreams rGP2l
I would like to describe my high school, since it helped me a lot and gave me a lifelong aspiration to set always high aims in life and make every effort in order to fulfil them. My main ambition in terms of higher education used to be to become a student of the best university in Uzbekistan only. Then, when I was accepted to the Presidential School in Khiva everything has changed and I discovered the whole world for myself as a space full of opportunities. By comparing local education system of Uzbekistan and Cambridge Assessment International Education System, I found that there are some methods of studying easier and more effectieve. Thanks to a great community and atmosphere, I learnt how to set significant ambitions and important milestones to reach them. For instance, now, I want to get to the MIT and study there to become the best in the world at my field. I realised that it is possible to achieve more. The only thing needed is being hardworking and enjoying from the proccess itself, not from the result. As I am surrounded with the most intellectual students here at school, I challenge myself to get advantage of them by learning something valuable from each and also I am ready to share my knowledge and experience with them also. I can definetly say that this place plays a great role in my whole life as the key of my future and success.
I would like to
describe
my high school, since it
helped
me a lot and gave me a lifelong aspiration to
set always
high aims in life and
make
every effort in order to fulfil them. My main ambition in terms of higher education
used
to be to become a student of the best university in Uzbekistan
only
. Then, when I was
accepted
to the Presidential School in
Khiva
everything has
changed
and I discovered the whole world for myself as a space full of opportunities. By comparing local education system of Uzbekistan and Cambridge Assessment International Education System, I found that there are
some
methods of studying easier and more
effectieve
. Thanks to a great community and atmosphere, I
learnt
how to set significant ambitions and
important
milestones to reach them.
For instance
,
now
, I want to
get
to the MIT and study there to become the best in the world at my field. I
realised
that it is possible to achieve more. The
only
thing needed is being hardworking and enjoying from the
proccess
itself, not from the result. As I
am surrounded
with the most intellectual students here at school, I challenge myself to
get
advantage of them by learning something valuable from each and
also
I am ready to share my knowledge and experience with them
also
. I can
definetly
say that this place plays a great role in my whole life as the key of my future and success.
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IELTS essay describe the world you came from which shaped your dreams

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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