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Describe the highlights of your most outstanding achievements/contributions/attributes

Describe the highlights of your most outstanding achievements/contributions/attributes 1N97
I remember getting zero for my math test. I don't know how many times I got the lowest score for math tests in my class. I hated learning math because I thought that it's my untalented field. But, I realized that learning math is an inevitable thing for a student. Fortunately, I keep getting supports from my environment to keep doing math exercises. It took me some time to finally pass all of my math tests. Eventually, I started getting fond of learning math. The time I got the highest score at math, I realized that we need to learn in order to be good at something. This inspires me to learn more things as I believe that the process of learning and the results are beneficial for my growth in academics and non-academic intelligence. As I am planning to enroll in business management that requires problem-solving, I choose natural science as my major in high school and took an additional A-level math class. I believe solving complex equations has helped me develop skills such as critical thinking and analysis skills. Moreover, as multilingualism can strengthen global business relationships, I have taken international language tests for both English and Chinese and got an overall band score of 8. 0 in IELTS and a score of 222 in HSK 4. Besides that, I am learning piano and took the ABRSM Piano Grade 7 test and got merit. I am in the school art club. Being a member of this club taught me to improve my drawing skills which is one of my hobbies. Also, I learned to manage not just my own work but also others.
I remember getting zero for my
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math
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test
. I don't know how
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many
times I
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got
the lowest
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score
for
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math
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tests
in my
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class
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hated
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learning
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math
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because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it's my untalented field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I realized that
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learning
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math
is an inevitable thing for a student.
Fortunately
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
getting supports from my environment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
doing
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math
exercises. It took me
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some
time to
finally
pass all of my
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math
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tests
.
Eventually
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
getting fond of
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learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
. The time I
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got
the highest
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score
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
, I realized that we need to learn in order to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at something. This inspires me to learn more things as I believe that the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and the results are beneficial for my growth in academics and non-academic intelligence.

As I am planning to enroll in business management that requires problem-solving, I choose natural science as my major in high school and took an additional A-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I believe solving complex equations has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as critical thinking and analysis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, as multilingualism can strengthen global business relationships, I have taken international language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tests
for both English and Chinese and
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got
an
overall
band
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score
of 8. 0 in IELTS and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
of 222 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
HSK
4.

Besides
that, I am
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learning
piano and took the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ABRSM
Piano Grade 7
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test
and
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got
merit. I am in the school art club. Being a member of this club taught me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my drawing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which is one of my hobbies.
Also
, I learned to manage not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
others.
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IELTS essay Describe the highlights of your most outstanding achievements/contributions/attributes

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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