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describe something you do for your health

describe something you do for your health 7L37A
I do several things to ensure that I remain healthy. However, I think the most important thing I do to stay healthy is drinking enough water and riding a bike. According to some research, people should drink at least 2 liters of water a day so I make a habit of drinking water whenever I remember to. When I go to school or hang out, a flask is a kind of attached thing that I always bring. I never leave the house without flask. If I forget or do not have my bottle on me, I immediately will buy another. When I was a teenager, I got some pimples on my face and at that time, I was so depressed and feel very unconfident when appearing in a crowd. And then I read an article saying that drinking enough water can prevents my skin from pimples and also keeps my skin healthier. Since then, my skin have improved, there are no more pimples on my face and I didn’t have to feel unconfident. Also, drink enough water can avoiding dehydration. Another I do to stay healthy is cycling – which is my favorite sport. I cycle around the stadium near my house at least 1 time per week. Every child needs to know how to ride a bike so my dad taught me to ride a bike. It was not easy at first because I didn’t know how to balance and I always lost control but I overcame my fear and I was able to ride a bike. I’ve seen a lot of benefits from cycling. First, it helps me to keep in fit and relieve stress. Getting to bike a little bit every week helps me to get a deeper night’s sleep and increases muscle strength and flexibility. It brings about challenges and stimulation. Cycling is a perfect way of getting exercise
I do several things to ensure that I remain healthy.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing I do to stay healthy is drinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and riding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should drink at least 2 liters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
a day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a habit of drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
whenever I remember to. When I go to school or hang out, a flask is a kind of attached thing that I always bring. I never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
without flask. If I forget or do not have my bottle on me, I immediately will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
another. When I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pimples on my face and at that time, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
depressed and feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unconfident when appearing in a crowd. And then I read an article saying that drinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "prevent"
prevents
my skin from pimples and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
my skin healthier. Since then, my skin have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, there are no more pimples on my face and I didn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
feel unconfident.
Also
, drink
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
can avoiding dehydration. Another I do to stay healthy is cycling
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
which is my favorite sport. I cycle around the stadium near my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
at least 1 time per week. Every child needs to know how to ride a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
my dad taught me to ride a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
. It was not easy at
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I didn’t know how to balance and I always lost control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I overcame my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fear and
I was able to ride a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
. I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits from cycling.
First
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in fit and relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
every week
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a deeper night’s sleep and increases muscle strength and flexibility. It brings about challenges and stimulation. Cycling is a perfect way of getting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
exercise
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IELTS essay describe something you do for your health

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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