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Describe something important that you learned from an experience outside of school in the past three years. How will it help you to be a successful exchange student?

Describe something important that you learned from an experience outside of school in the past three years. How will it help you to be a successful exchange student? Bg5e6
Besides my school, I am grateful to my parents that they persuaded me to take a chess courses. For the moment, I am in class B in chess and, to be honest I am proud of myself that I have achievements like these. In my every leisure time I fiercely play chess in various sites and try to ameliorate my skills. Also I like participate in chess online competitions, I can call this killing-time-stuff my personal and beloved hobby. Likewise since my childhood, I have been fond of drawing, on the contrary I am not a professional like you could make a conclusion about me, most likely I am amateur. I took part in drawing contests and often drew some imagery and icons for schools like NIS (for my older cousin), my former school in Almaty (54 school-lyceum) and current school in Nur-Sultan. (60 school-lyceum) And expect my the above-mentioned skills, at the moment i study in IT-grade and have abilities in programming, web-programming and coding. I took a web-programming courses and have possibility to create my own small site, and I reckon I will keep silence about my level of English and the general desire of learning foreign languages (for instanse, German). So, why I have to make my contribution as an exchange student? Considering, I have the potential to learn something new, espesially if it connect with my education in future. And I am convinced that FLEX program will give me a great experiences and impressions which they leave a mark of my life.
Besides
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I am grateful to my parents that they persuaded me to take a chess courses. For the moment, I am in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
B in chess and, to be honest I am proud of myself that I have achievements like these. In my every leisure time I
fiercely
play chess in various sites and try to ameliorate my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I like participate in chess online competitions, I can call this killing-time-stuff my personal and beloved hobby.
Likewise
since my childhood, I have been fond of drawing,
on the contrary
I am not a professional like you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conclusion about me, most likely I am amateur. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in drawing contests and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
drew
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
imagery and icons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
NIS
(for my older cousin), my former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Almaty (54 school-lyceum) and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nur-Sultan
. (60 school-lyceum) And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
my the above-mentioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, at the moment
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
study in IT-grade and have abilities in programming, web-programming and coding. I took a web-programming courses and have possibility to create my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
site, and I reckon I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
silence about my level of English and the general desire of learning foreign languages (for
Possible spelling mistake found.
instanse
, German).
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, why I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my contribution as an exchange student? Considering, I have the potential to learn something new,
Possible spelling mistake found.
espesially
if it
Did you mean "connects"?
connect
with my education
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. And I
am convinced
that FLEX program will give me a great experiences and impressions which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a mark of my life.
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IELTS essay Describe something important that you learned from an experience outside of school in the past three years. How will it help you to be a successful exchange student?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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