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Should adults be responsible for their elderly parents?

Should adults be responsible for their elderly parents? G9Ewo
Responsibility is the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone. People have major and minor duties in their own life yet the greatest responsibility is for family. In particular, adults should take responsibility for their parents. The priority reason for adults to take responsibility to their parents is that it is oblighted by the law. Law on marriage and family, offsprings have duty of looking after their parents. Particularly their elderly parents are incapable for civil acts of individuals. At the old age, these people in general have slim chance to earn for living. Moreover, there are numerous people are not able to do their personal hygiene. Being in charge of elderly parents is to express gratitude to them. It is impossible for kids to grow up without parents’ support and nuturing. Furthermore, the greatest thing which parents brings to their children is not only give them birth but they also raise children and educate them. They even had to sacrifice their life for their offsprings’ better future. In addition, helping old-aged people can create a better society. In general, when people get older, they are economically vulnerable because the amount of values and money they have made is low. Moreover, some seniors feel guity as their cost of healthcare can exceed their incomeor they feel like being other’s burden. Therefore, youngers should emphasize and spend more time on looking after the ealderly for a harmony life and for lasting the “ gratitude” tradition through generations. Taking care of parents is a good way to strenthen family bonds. People in this modern life are always occupied with work, living conditions or studying. As a result, members in a family rarely enjoy moment life together. Therefore, the connections between parents and their children or grandparents with their grandchildren become worse. For these reasons, spending time with parents such as expressing love to parents or having a frank conversation with elderly parents can help the erlderly parents feel like being respected and help the adults reduce stress. In short, people said that home is the coziest place in the world because members take care of each other. Family does not only provide foods to members but also the place to nuturing people’s soul. It is the fact that, giving things then receiving things. When their parents get old, they give their love to their parents as they used to come by.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Responsibility
is the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have major and minor duties in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
yet
the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
In particular
, adults should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
for their parents.

The priority reason for adults to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
oblighted
by the law. Law on marriage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings have
duty of looking after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Particularly
their elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are incapable for civil acts of individuals. At the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in general
have slim chance to earn for living.
Moreover
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to do their personal hygiene.

Being in charge of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to express gratitude to them. It is impossible for kids to grow up without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
support and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nuturing
.
Furthermore
, the greatest thing which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "bring".
brings
to their children is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give them birth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
raise children and educate them. They even had to sacrifice their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
for their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
’ better future.

In addition
, helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can create a better society.
In general
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, they are
economically
vulnerable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the amount of values and money they have made is low.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
seniors feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
guity
as their cost of healthcare can exceed their
Possible spelling mistake found.
incomeor
they feel like being other’s burden.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
should emphasize and spend more time on looking after the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ealderly
for a harmony
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and for lasting the
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
gratitude” tradition through generations.

Taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenthen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are always occupied with work, living conditions or studying.
As a result
, members in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
rarely enjoy moment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
together.
Therefore
, the connections between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their children or grandparents with their grandchildren become worse. For these reasons, spending time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
such as expressing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or having a frank conversation with elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
erlderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel like
being respected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that home is the coziest place in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
members take care of each other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide foods to members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the place to
Possible spelling mistake found.
nuturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
soul. It is the fact that, giving things then receiving things. When their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they give their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by.
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IELTS essay Should adults be responsible for their elderly parents?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
409 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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