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describe colourful things you havehad

describe colourful things you havehad 2aw9k
Last week, I went to a new shop near my house where sold a lot of adorable things and cute souvenirs. And one of them which was the most colourful thing I think is my necklace. The reason why I made up my mind to choose it among other things is that it recall me some old memories. It a handmade necklace which had many pieces of flowers. Actually, I used to have one like that but I lost it when I was playing outside at my schoolyard. So when I see it, like lots of memories came to my mind. And my mom told me that it was really suitable for me. And when I wearing it and I can look myself in the mirror, it build confidence in me. And I really looked forward to shopping that store again. And my friends told me that they also want something like my necklace. And I really welcome to invite them to go with me.
Last week, I went to a new shop near my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
where sold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
adorable things and cute souvenirs. And one of them which was the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
thing I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is my necklace. The reason why I made up my mind to choose it among other things is that it recall me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
memories.

It seems that a verb is missing after "It". Please verify.
It
a handmade necklace which had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pieces of flowers.

Actually, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have one like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I lost it when I was playing outside at my schoolyard.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it, like lots of memories came to my mind. And my mom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that it was
really
suitable for me. And when I wearing it and I can look myself in the mirror, it
Did you mean "builds"?
build
confidence in me.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
And
I
really
looked forward to shopping that store again.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
And
my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that they
also
want something like my necklace.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
And
I
really
welcome to invite them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
me.

IELTS essay describe colourful things you havehad

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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