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Describe and a festival that creates the problem what it is how it is when it is how we feel it

Describe and a festival that creates the problem what it is how it is when it is how we feel it aJNmw
Well to be honest with you they are so lot of lot of festivals which creates a lot of pollution baby air pollution sound pollution water pollution but yeah I want to talk about one particular festival which case a lot of three categories of pollution is it is nothing but a Vinayaka Choti Hindu methodology this festival is celebrated due to the ongoing of Vinayaka Choti on from 10 days of this go to the water here dip into the water and dip into the water well it as it comes the people who surrounded by The HinduMetal always believed that the way stories are most important for the Hindus as a reason they celebrated this festival for nine days with them Puja and interiors of the universe and also celebrate the festival due to this is a very kind of the festivals this festival gives me a lot of irritating because the festival celebrates by the Hindus okay if this religious festival and can because I can be done by The Hindu metal ology but the systems the youngsters who would like to play different types of movie songs regarding to the festival location the songs which they have been playing it’s not only distance by me but all the people who have donate the money Vinayaka has been deep into the water in different lakes and oceans and they say will be need you on the next year of the same time I feel very sad because this is completely a lot of pollution all the all the three assets
Well to be honest with
Consider adding a comma here.
you
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
which creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
baby air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
yeah I want to talk about one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
which case a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of three categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is it is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinayaka
Possible spelling mistake found.
Choti
Hindu methodology this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
is celebrated
due to the ongoing of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinayaka
Possible spelling mistake found.
Choti
on from 10 days of this go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
here dip into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and dip into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
well it as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who surrounded by The
Possible spelling mistake found.
HinduMetal
always believed that the way stories are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the Hindus as a reason they celebrated this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
for nine days with them
Possible spelling mistake found.
Puja
and interiors of the universe and
also
celebrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
due to this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
kind of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
gives me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of irritating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
celebrates by the Hindus okay if this religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
and can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can
be done
by The Hindu metal
Possible spelling mistake found.
ology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the systems the youngsters who would like to play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of movie songs
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
location the songs which they have been playing it’s not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
distance by me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
Use past participle here: "donated".
donate
the money
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinayaka
has been deep into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lakes and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
oceans and
they say will
be need
you on the
next
year of the same time I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is completely a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "all the".
all the all the
three assets
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IELTS essay Describe and a festival that creates the problem what it is how it is when it is how we feel it

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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