Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

DESCRIBE AN ITEM YOU BOUGHT AND FEEL HAPPY ABOUT

DESCRIBE AN ITEM YOU BOUGHT AND FEEL HAPPY ABOUT 8LqkV
well there are many things that I want to buy but I don't have a chance to do that but I am going to describe my laptop which is brand new so I really love this, it is on the Apple operating system and it looks so classy Actually, I already had a computer to use at first and didn't want to spend too much money on a MacBook. But later on, my ancient computer was too heavy for me to carry everywhere, it was too inconvenient. Then I asked my friend for advice and complained about the old computer and my friend gave me a suggestion to buy a new computer like MacBook or Dell and so on. And then my friend took his computer to show me and I loved it at first sight. But at that time I didn't want my parents to spend too much money to buy me a new machine and I hesitated for a long time to make a decision. And because in studying I need to use many electronic devices, especially computers, so my mother took me to a reputable computer shop, which must be dozens of kilometers from my house. When they showed me that MacBook, I was really satisfied because it was more beautiful than I thought and I agreed with my parents that she buys a secondhand instead of a brand-new one to save up. That place even promises a 2-year warranty for the computer. When I got home I almost dared not touch it for fear it would scratch. But after all, I've been using it for half a year but I still love and take care of it. It's gray and looks fashionable and this is one of the reasons I like this Macbook is its battery lasts about a day. I'm very happy with it because I feel more comfortable using it in my studies
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that I want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don't have a chance to do that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
my laptop which is
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
this, it is on the Apple operating system and it looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
classy

Actually, I already had a computer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
at
first
and didn't want to spend too much money on a MacBook.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
later on, my ancient computer was too heavy for me to carry everywhere, it was too inconvenient.

Then I asked my friend for advice and complained about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
computer and my friend gave me a suggestion to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a new computer like MacBook or Dell and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And then my friend took his computer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
me and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
it at
first
sight.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at that time I didn't want my parents to spend too much money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
me a new machine and I hesitated for a long time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision.

And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in studying I need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic devices,
especially
computers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
my mother took me to a reputable computer shop, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be dozens of kilometers from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
me that MacBook, I was
really
satisfied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
than I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with my parents that she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
a secondhand
instead
of a brand-new one to save up. That place even promises a 2-year warranty for the computer. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
home I almost dared not touch it for fear it would scratch.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after all
, I've been using it for half a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and take care of it.

It's gray and looks fashionable and this is one of the reasons I like this
Possible spelling mistake found.
Macbook
is its battery lasts about a day. I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I feel more comfortable using it in my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
studies
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay DESCRIBE AN ITEM YOU BOUGHT AND FEEL HAPPY ABOUT

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts