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Describe a wedding you attended  

Describe a wedding you attended   QRWk9
Life is incomplete without a life partner, most people have a dream that they will marry and become a happily married couple, so they search for better half. Marriage function is the most important festival of our life it also gives a deep knowledge of our folk, tradition, and culture. I am very eager to share my experience of marriage function which always remains in my heart as sweet memories. I have attended my cousin Ajay's marriage function in 2017 with my wife and daughter Geet. It was in a very famous marriage palace called "Punjab Palace" It’s in my native "Malout" Punjab. The theme was based on Punjabi culture and folk before 1947, where males wear chadra and kurta and like to keep Dang (Big and broad stick) and females dressed up with Salwar kurtas with Fulkari (a traditional handmade dupatta) which has lots of handmade arts. Everybody looks like typical Punjabi guys and gals from the village. I was surprised by some other monuments which describe ancient Punjab. There was a cart and artificial well, where people feel like that they are in a small village, everybody was busy capturing the photograph to store previous glimpses of their life's. My daughter was so excited because it was the first marriage function she attended, I gave maximum input about our culture and flashback of Punjabi tradition. Geet was very happy and she felt like she is on top of the world. It was so full of excitement because I met some relatives after 10 to 12 years, it was heart touching experience and I got emotional most of the time because I was missing my dear ones. The marriage ceremony was full of surprise for me and my family, another big moment of my life was waiting for me. Once the folk dance and song function start everybody run into the hall because famous singer Mr. Harbhajan Mann was on the stage, I was speechless when I saw the celebrity, Mr. Mann. My uncle kept it as a surprise element for all. When Mr. Mann started his first song everybody start Bhangra (Punjabi folk dance). Even I and my family participated and enjoyed Bhangra and Giddha (Folk Punjabi dance), those moments were eye-catching for me. After some time got a chance to have some photo sessions with a great singer. Really throughout the whole function, I love each moment but Harbhajan Mann's presence was happiest and enjoyable for me. I have attended lots of other functions but this marriage was a heart-touching moment for me it create a place in my heart and mind. It gave us informative moments of our great culture, traditions and also taught me and my daughter how we can keep in touch with our culture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is incomplete without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a dream that they will marry and become a
happily
married couple,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they search for better half.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
festival of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
it
also
gives a deep knowledge of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
, tradition, and culture.

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
eager to share my experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
which always remains in my heart as sweet memories. I have attended my cousin Ajay's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
in 2017 with my wife and daughter
Possible spelling mistake found.
Geet
. It was in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
palace called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Punjab Palace
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
It’s in my native
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Malout
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
Punjab. The theme
was based
on Punjabi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
1947, where males wear
Possible spelling mistake found.
chadra
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
kurta
and like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Dang (
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
and broad stick) and females dressed up with Salwar
Possible spelling mistake found.
kurtas
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fulkari
(a traditional handmade
Possible spelling mistake found.
dupatta
) which has lots of handmade arts. Everybody looks like typical Punjabi guys and gals from the village. I
was surprised
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other monuments which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
ancient Punjab. There was a cart and artificial well, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel like that they are in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village, everybody was busy capturing the photograph to store previous glimpses of their life's. My daughter was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
she attended, I gave maximum input about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and flashback of Punjabi tradition.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Geet
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happy and
she felt like she is on top of the world. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
full of excitement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relatives after 10 to 12 years, it was heart touching experience and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
emotional most of the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was missing my dear ones.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
ceremony was full of surprise for me and my family, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was waiting for me. Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
dance and song
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
everybody run into the hall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singer Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harbhajan
Mann was on the stage, I was speechless when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the celebrity, Mr. Mann. My uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
it as a surprise element for all.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
Mr. Mann
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his
first
song everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "starts", "started".
start
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhangra
(Punjabi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
dance). Even I and my family participated and enjoyed
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhangra
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Giddha
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(Folk
Punjabi dance), those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moments
were eye-catching for me.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
photo sessions with a great singer.
Really
throughout the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harbhajan
Mann's presence was happiest and enjoyable for me.

I have attended lots of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
functions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
was a heart-touching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
for me it
Did you mean "creates"?
create
a place in my heart and mind. It gave us informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moments
of our great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, traditions and
also
taught me and my daughter how we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
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IELTS essay Describe a wedding you attended  

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
461 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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