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Describe a tourist attraction you once visited

Describe a tourist attraction you once visited m95l8
I had a wonderful holiday with my friend in Nha Trang City last sumer. It is one of the most fascinating destinations to tourists at home and broad. We spent most of our time lying on white sand beaches, relaxing and enjoying breathtaking views. Furthermore, we visited some well-know tourist attractions in this city including Vinpearl Land, an exciting enterainment complex and Tri Nguyen aquarium, which attracts millions of visitors every year. We also tried the local food like seafood when we were there. Ihope that Iwill visit this city again when I have freetime for a holiday.
I had a wonderful holiday with my friend in
Nha
Trang
City last
sumer
. It is one of the most fascinating destinations to tourists at home and broad. We spent most of our time lying on white sand beaches, relaxing and enjoying breathtaking views.
Furthermore
, we visited
some
well-know tourist attractions in this city including
Vinpearl
Land, an exciting
enterainment
complex and
Tri
Nguyen aquarium, which attracts millions of visitors every year. We
also
tried the local food like seafood when we were there.
Ihope
that
Iwill
visit this city again when I have
freetime
for a holiday.
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IELTS essay Describe a tourist attraction you once visited

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
98 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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