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Describe a time when you took responsibility for helping someone!

Describe a time when you took responsibility for helping someone! 0BX79
I believe that take responsibility is a way to drive your life! When you choose to in charge of something, you are accountable for it, therefore it will make part of your life! Different responsibilities require different skills and time to fulfil them. As a working mother, I have many responsibilities. In addition to job responsibilities and household affairs, raising two children, for instance, can be considered a big responsibility. You have to look after your kids. As soon as you do it, you need to feed the kids, clean them, take care of them and help their education and so on. Accept responsibilities might be a little shocking at first, but is actually something that helps you more than you think. Although, being a mom can be a demanding, it will give you lots of benefits. Be as a mom and live by your kids can be challenging, however, it is a good experience and makes you develop skills that otherwise you wouldn't. Moderhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing. It can and will change your life for ever.
I believe that take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
is a way to drive your life! When you choose to in charge of something, you are accountable for it,
therefore
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
part of your life!

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and time to fulfil them.

As a working mother, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
.
In addition
to job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
and household affairs, raising two children,
for instance
, can
be considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
. You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look after your kids. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as you do it, you need to feed the kids, clean them, take care of them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
might be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
shocking at
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is actually something that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you more than you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. Although, being a mom can be a demanding, it will give you lots of benefits. Be as a mom and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by your kids can be challenging,
however
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
otherwise
you wouldn't.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Moderhood
is the greatest thing and the hardest thing. It can and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your life for ever.
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IELTS essay Describe a time when you took responsibility for helping someone!

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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