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Describe a time when you felt very unlucky

Describe a time when you felt very unlucky MwM8k
I'll tell you about a time when I got lost in second grade and felt unfortunate. My mother let me play at my grandmother's place that day. Everyone is preoccupied with preparing dinner. I used to play with the local kids. I don't recall because we had traveled so far. When I noticed that it was getting dark and the kids I was playing with were getting tired, I knew it was time to leave. I was in a state of complete panic. At the time, I was really panicking. I couldn't think of anything and simply cried. Someone came up to me and asked why I was crying. The woman graciously drove me to my grandmother's place after learning my mother's name. Everyone was looking for me that day. My mum is really concerned about my well-being. My mother was in tears when I returned. However, my mother still punished me for staying at home for a week for going out without telling her. It was one of the most terrifying events of my boyhood. Since then, I've never dared to leave the house without first informing my parents.
I'll
tell
you about a time when I
got
lost in second grade and felt unfortunate. My mother
let
me play at my grandmother's place that day. Everyone
is preoccupied
with preparing dinner. I
used
to play with the local kids. I don't recall
because
we had traveled
so
far. When I noticed that it was getting dark and the kids I was playing with were getting tired, I knew it was time to
leave
. I was in a state of complete panic. At the time, I was
really
panicking. I couldn't
think
of anything and
simply
cried. Someone came up to me and asked why I was crying. The woman
graciously
drove me to my grandmother's place after learning my mother's name. Everyone was looking for me that day. My mum is
really
concerned about my well-being. My mother was in tears when I returned.
However
, my mother
still
punished me for staying at home for a week for going out without telling her. It was one of the most terrifying
events
of my boyhood. Since then, I've never dared to
leave
the
house
without
first
informing my parents.
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IELTS essay Describe a time when you felt very unlucky

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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