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about the histort and all with what can be down

about the histort and all with what can be down 9a3gx
It is Common that today we are flooded with information about everything. The youth of today know about global celebs but are increasingly ill informed about their own historical personalities. This essay shall analyse why this is happening, and also suggest some measures, to generate their interest in historical events and people. The first and major reason for this is that the education system in most of the countries is test-based. Students are only taught to get good grades and as a result, they only focus on passing their exams, rather than gaining knowledge about any topic. Their interest is never developed in history and heroes of our past. On top of that, the youth today is more fascinated towards the celebrities because of the exposure and importance the media gives to them. Furthermore, most of the families have now started living in nuclear setups, where both the parents are working, and because of this the children’s education about their roots and history has taken a back seat. There are many methods that can be used by parents, schools and the media to develop the interest of youngsters in knowing about the famous people from history. The schools can incorporate technology in teaching methods, like the use of audio-visual aids. Educational trips to museums and famous historical places also help develop the children’s interest. The government should set up museums and encourage children to visit them by highly subsidizing tickets for the students. For example, the Salar Jung Museum has become a great source of information about the freedom struggle and the sacrifices made by freedom fighters. Moreover, TV shows and movies can be made around famous historical personalities and their contributions. For instance, the recent Bollywood movie Bajirao Mastani, has been a super hit at the box office and has made a lot of people more aware about historical events and characters. To conclude, there are several innovative and creative methods that can be used to make the youth more interested and aware about the notable people from history.
It is Common that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we
are flooded
with information about everything. The youth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
know about global celebs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
increasingly
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ill informed
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
personalities. This essay shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
why this is happening, and
also
suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures, to generate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The
first
and major reason for this is that the education system in most of the countries is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
-based. Students are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
taught to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades and
as a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on passing their exams,
rather
than gaining knowledge about any topic. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
is never developed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and heroes of our past.
On top of that
, the youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is more fascinated towards the celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the exposure and importance the media gives to them.
Furthermore
, most of the families have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
living in nuclear setups, where both the parents are working, and
because of this
the children’s education about their roots and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
has taken a back seat.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by parents, schools and the media to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
of youngsters in knowing about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. The schools can incorporate technology in teaching methods, like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of audio-visual aids. Educational trips to museums and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop the children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should set up museums and encourage children to visit them by
highly
subsidizing tickets for the students.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Salar
Jung Museum has become a great source of information about the freedom struggle and the sacrifices made by freedom fighters.
Moreover
, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and movies can
be made
around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
personalities and their contributions.
For instance
, the recent Bollywood movie
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bajirao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mastani
, has been a super hit at the box office and has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and characters.

To conclude
, there are several innovative and creative methods that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the youth more interested and aware about the notable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
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IELTS essay about the histort and all with what can be down

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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