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Describe a place you would like to live in. Explain why it is a good place for that purpose. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

Describe a place you would like to live in. Explain why it is a good place for that purpose. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
A certain group of people considers that past does not have any values of modern human and there is no need research it, while another part of society thinks that history is able to explain the evolution process of humans. There are valid arguments on both sides which I will consider before giving my personal opinion. From one point of view, our present develops with absolutely different way, without taking into account any previous human experience and they are emphasized discovering new sides of human existence. New technologies usually orientate on modern achievements and try to make them better and they do not see any necessity for learning old methods of process organisation just because it is the past. For example, space researches do not spend the resources for learning history due to a lack of proper data about Space in the past. On the other hand, human is no longer important and interesting without its history. The modern achievements are the results of long efforts, which passed from one generation to another. For instance, modern cars could not be such beautiful, comfortable and fast without taking into account all previous human achievements in this field. I personally feel that we should keep our past and look at it with regard, however, it is important to move ahead and emphasize on future discoveries. In conclusion, there are merits on both sides of a given statement in regard to whether could we learn something from the past and bring it to the present or it is not worth understanding human's life through researching history.
A certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
considers that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
does not have any values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and there is no need research it, while another part of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the evolution process of humans.

There are valid arguments on both sides which I will consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my personal opinion.

From one point of view, our present develops with
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way, without taking into account any previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they
are emphasized
discovering new sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
existence. New technologies
usually
orientate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
achievements and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
better and
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any necessity for learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
methods of process
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
For example
, space researches do not spend the resources for learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
due to a lack of proper data about Space in the past.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and interesting without its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
achievements are the results of long efforts, which passed from one generation to another.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
cars could not be such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, comfortable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
without taking into account all previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
achievements in this field.

I
personally
feel that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and look at it with regard,
however
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
ahead and emphasize on future discoveries.

In conclusion
, there are merits on both sides of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement in regard to whether could we learn something from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and bring it to the present or it is not worth understanding human's life through researching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a place you would like to live in. Explain why it is a good place for that purpose. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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