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Describe a leisure activity you would like to do on or near the sea

Describe a leisure activity you would like to do on or near the sea xaDA6
Beach volleyball Volleyball is one of the most popular sport in the world, especially it has another funny style that we can play near the sea which is called beach volleyball. I’m a person who keen on playing volleyball, when I saw some TV show about beach volleyball that push up my passion and make me want to play it. There are not many things that we need to prepare for play it, you just have a ball, a net and a big place near the sea but there are some differences when you play beach volleyball. I think it is harder than we play the normal style because it is played on sand surface and it effect on our speed or balance but it is more excited. It is able to everyone that include people who can’t swim. In my opinion, this sport can lead to recreational effects like providing friendly enviroment which associate each other or making new friends easily, moreover when we finish a match there are some meditative affect in our mind and it help us get away from the hectic pace of life. Because it is a kind of sport so there are some physical benefits we can get for our self like improving cardivovascular fitness, increasing muscle strength, particularly in the back, arms, shoulders by running to get the ball. I had planned for playing beach volleyball this summer but the covid 19 came to my city so it was cancelled, I hope next summer I can go to the sea and play this sport with my parents and meet new friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Beach
Possible typo: you repeated a word
volleyball Volleyball
is one of the most popular
Please check whether a plural form of 'sport' should be used.
sport
in the world,
especially
it has another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
style that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
near the sea which
is called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
volleyball. I’m a person who keen on playing volleyball, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
volleyball that push up my passion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
it. There are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that we need to prepare for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
it, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have a ball, a net and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
place near the sea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
volleyball. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is harder than we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the normal style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is played
on sand surface and it
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
on our speed or balance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is more excited. It is able to everyone that include
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can’t swim. In my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can lead to recreational effects like providing friendly
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
which associate each other or making new friends
easily
,
moreover
when we finish a match there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meditative affect in our mind and it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from the hectic pace of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is a kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical benefits we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for our self like improving
Possible spelling mistake found.
cardivovascular
fitness, increasing muscle strength,
particularly
in the back, arms, shoulders by running to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the ball. I had planned for playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
volleyball this summer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
came to my city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
was cancelled
, I hope
next
summer I can go to the sea and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
with my parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends.
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IELTS essay Describe a leisure activity you would like to do on or near the sea

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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