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Describe a holiday you particularly enjoyed

Describe a holiday you particularly enjoyed J0m5k
I would like to talk about an exciting holiday where I went to Nha Trang – a lovely coastal city locates in the southern part of Vietnam. My family and I went there 2 years ago to enjoy a relaxing life by the beach. There was many means of transport to go there but I decided to go by planes because it took my family 1 hour to arrive this city. We just had a three-day trip but we had visited many attractive places. On the fisrt day, we went to white sandy beaches, clear waters with an abundance of marine life. The atmosphere here was very fresh, with several coffee shops and seafood restaurants scattered along the beach. So we went to a French Restaurant after taking a shower. The food here was so delicous that I remembered its taste like yesterday. On the second day, we all loved sightseeing and recreational activities therefore we went to Vinpearl land – a famous Amusment park. The park offered fun-filled activities for travelling families, with unique water slides, a massive aquarium, a wave pool, shopping mall, and so on. And the final day, we went to The National Oceanographic Museum of Vietnam which offered interesting exhibits of local marine life. To end this trip, we went to Thap Ba Hot Spring Centre. It is believed that the natural hot mineral springs help remove dead skin cells, and supply minerals to the body. I loved that trip very much because I could spend a memorable time with my family. Furthermore, I could enjoy many fun activities and eat local specialities. We actually are planning on another trip so we can try more activities.
I would like to talk about an exciting holiday where I
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went
to
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Nha
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Trang
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–
a lovely coastal city locates in the southern part of Vietnam. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
there 2 years ago to enjoy a relaxing life by the beach.

There was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
means of transport to go there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I decided to go by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it took my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
1 hour to arrive this city. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had a three-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we had visited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attractive places. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fisrt
day, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to white sandy beaches,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
waters with an abundance of marine life. The atmosphere here was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fresh, with several coffee shops and seafood restaurants scattered along the beach.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to a French Restaurant after taking a shower. The food here was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
delicous
that I remembered its taste like yesterday. On the second day, we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
sightseeing and recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
therefore
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinpearl
land
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amusment
park. The park offered fun-filled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for travelling
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families
, with unique water slides, a massive aquarium, a wave pool, shopping mall, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And the final day, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to The National Oceanographic Museum of Vietnam which offered interesting exhibits of local marine life. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thap
Ba Hot Spring
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
. It
is believed
that the natural hot mineral springs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
remove dead skin cells, and supply minerals to the body.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I could spend a memorable time with my
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family
.
Furthermore
, I could enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and eat local specialities. We actually are planning on another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can try more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay Describe a holiday you particularly enjoyed

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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