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Describe a famous celebrity whom you admire

Describe a famous celebrity whom you admire qQJ9X
Well, I’d like to listen to various kinds of music depending on my mood and different situations. However, one of my favorite singers whose music I always love to turn on all the time is Quan A. P. He is a young Vietnamese pop ballad singer who has several hit songs, for instance “Phan boi chinh minh” or “Bong hoa dep nhat”. Most of his songs are really tuneful and tear-jerking. I guess the reason why I’m hooked on his compositions is because when he writes the new song, he puts all his personal stories and emotions into it. Furthermore, from my standpoint, the celebrity should be a person who has a good attitude towards people around them. And Quan A. P is one of them. He is very sociable and likable to all his fans both on social media and on the stage too. Sometimes, to thank the fans who stayed with him in the show, he gives some delicious sweets to them as a little present.
Well, I’d like to listen to various kinds of music depending on my mood and
different
situations.
However
, one of my favorite singers whose music I always
love
to turn on all the time is
Quan
A. P.

He is a young Vietnamese pop ballad singer who has several hit songs,
for instance
Phan
boi
chinh
minh
” or “Bong
hoa
dep
nhat
”. Most of his songs are
really
tuneful and tear-jerking. I guess the reason why I’m hooked on his compositions is
because
when he writes the new song, he puts all his personal stories and emotions into it.

Furthermore
, from my standpoint, the celebrity should be a person who has a
good
attitude towards
people
around them. And
Quan
A. P is one of them. He is
very
sociable and likable to all his fans both on social media and on the stage too.
Sometimes
, to thank the fans who stayed with him in the
show
, he gives
some
delicious sweets to them as a
little
present.
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IELTS essay Describe a famous celebrity whom you admire

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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