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Describe a family business that you know

Describe a family business that you know 1VyNy
In our life, we are living in a fast pace of modern life so people want to start a business in a certain field but they don't have enough capital to do this. However, family business is one of the most important way to get that dream. So now I would like to talk a family business that I know. Mr. Minh is my neighbor and his occupation is a restaurant's manager. I know his restaurant is his family business and has owned the business from his father and been continuing with his family members. His restaurant is located on Phan Van Tri Street which has a lot of attractive food stalls but his one is preferable to many customers. It offers different sorts of traditional VNese cuisines for the clients with the prices is suitable for many people's pockets. My family usually go to his restaurant to organize some specail occasions such as birthday party, anniversaries and so on. To me, it appears that this is a good family business with some reasons. Firstly, all the family members are working together that is friendly, quick and hospitable. Especially, the profits are shared equally among the family members. Secondly and the last, there is a variety of goods with reasonable price and the quality is high and reliable. There are some reasons that his restaurant always attracts many domestic and international customers.
In our life, we are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of modern life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in a certain field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
capital to do this.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Please check whether a plural form of 'way' should be used.
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that dream.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I would like to talk a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
that I know. Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Minh is
my neighbor and his occupation is a restaurant's manager. I know his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
is his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
from his father and been continuing with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
is located
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phan
Van
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tri
Street which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
attractive food stalls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his one is preferable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers. It offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sorts of traditional
Possible spelling mistake found.
VNese
cuisines for the clients with the prices is suitable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's pockets. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
usually
go to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
to organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
specail
occasions such as birthday party, anniversaries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To me, it appears that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are working together
that is
friendly, quick and hospitable.
Especially
, the profits
are shared
equally
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
Secondly
and the last, there is a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with reasonable price and the quality is high and reliable. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
always attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
domestic and international customers.
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IELTS essay Describe a family business that you know

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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