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Describe a country where would like to work for a short time

Describe a country where would like to work for a short time X8ON
well it would be great opportunity for me if I get to work in different country for a short period of time and four days I will definitely use Canada was actually I have just completed my 12th and I am planning to move to Canada for my higher study I am planning to choose a 2 year diploma in hospitality and during this time I would like to work I would choose to work with big brands in the hospitality industry for example 5 star hotels like washing crowne plaza there are quite a few reasons why would work along with my studies for first of all to manage my expenses by working I would be able to earn enough money so that I can manage my expenses so working here will make me a little independent as well in addition most of the big and sly question holiday Inn in the world of the hospital at the so I would like to work this in these companies so that I can get international exposes and get familiar with the international working atmosphere as well there is another reason why I would want to work here and that is a co-ordinate with I will learn in the classroom with the actual practical experience so it would be a big get benefit for me because after completing my study I if I would I would be applying for a job I can benefit last but not least Canada is a multi natural society and I would get familiar with people from different parts of the work at my workplace so I would we get it would be a great opportunity for me to understand different cultures their language and many other things by interacting with them overall it would be a fantasies thing for me and other completing this short period of time in Canada would come back to my country and get settled here
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
it would be great opportunity for me if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country for a short period of time and four days I will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Canada was actually I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
completed my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
12th and
I am planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Canada for my higher study I am planning to choose a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "2-year"
2 year
diploma in hospitality and during this time I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
I would choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
brands in the hospitality industry
for example
'5 star' is missing a hyphen.
5 star
hotels like washing
Possible spelling mistake found.
crowne
plaza there are quite a few reasons why would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
along with my studies for
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
to manage my expenses by working I would be able to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can manage my expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
working here will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
independent
as well
in addition
most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and sly question holiday Inn in the world of the hospital at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
this in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
international exposes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with the international working atmosphere
as well
there is another reason why I would want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
here and
that is
a co-ordinate with I will learn in the classroom with the actual practical experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after completing my study I if
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "I would".
I would I would
be applying for a job I can benefit last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
Canada is a multi natural society and I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at my workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it would be a great opportunity for me to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures their language and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things by interacting with them
overall
it would be a
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "fantasies'" or "fantasy's"?
fantasies
thing for me and other completing this short period of time in Canada would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to my country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
settled here
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IELTS essay Describe a country where would like to work for a short time

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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