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Degree or soft skills is more important for your future job?

Degree or soft skills is more important for your future job? QRo9x
It would be argued that, having a university degree is the best way to have a good job. In my opinion, however, getting experience and development soft skill is more important. In this essay I will discuss both views and why I think gaining a good soft skill is more essential. On the one hand, we can not deny that having a college degree is the best way for your career path. University will give us a deeper knowledge about the major and teach us how to solve the problems perfectly. Moreover, it will give us so many practical knowledge about our future jobs. For instance, many big software company recruit only people who have the degree about IT or software and have deeper knowledge to solve any hard issues. On the other hand, I would argue that having good work experiences and soft skills skill is more essential. Because, when we work for some factories and companies we need to do reports about the revenue or plans, but we do not have any soft skills like presentation skill and communication skill so we can not convince our boss although we have a lot of good ideas. Therefore, having a good degree is not enough for being success in our career path. In conclusion, although some think that a professional degree is the key for having a good job. I personally believe that having soft skill is better.
It would
be argued
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is the best way to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job. In my opinion,
however
, getting experience and development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In this essay I will discuss both views and why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
gaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is more essential.

On the one hand, we can not deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is the best way for your career path. University will give us a deeper knowledge about the major and teach us how to solve the problems
perfectly
.
Moreover
, it will give us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun knowledge seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much practical knowledge", "a good deal of practical knowledge".
many practical knowledge
about our future jobs.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
recruit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
about IT or software and have deeper knowledge to solve any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
issues.

On the other hand
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
work experiences and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is more essential.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, when we work for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
we need to do reports about the revenue or plans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can not convince our boss although we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for being success in our career path.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is the key for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is better.
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IELTS essay Degree or soft skills is more important for your future job?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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