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Debating for Cigarette

Debating for Cigarette bYorl
Cigarettes is the one perilous influences for human health and it should be ban by government. It is agreed that the governments must be concerned at public health in the future. This essay will discuss the issue then come to a reasoned conclusion. Smoking has become daily necessities for many people who addict with this toxic. Most of the society realize the impact inside of cigarette components. The smoke from tobacco might increasing the number of pollution and put the risk on the secondhand smoke. It is well know that smoking causes non communicable disease such as cancer, heart disease and lung ailments. Furthermore, stop the cigarette addict must be difficult and so many obstacles to control it. In particular, it may be came from tobacco industry while they have contribute in many sector to help the state income budget. This must be the responsibilities for the governments to force the production of tobacco. For instance, the governments can make a regulation of tobacco product like increasing the tax of cigarette or build a rule that there is no under the age can buy cigarette. On the other hand, there is an attempt by the government to build a smoking area in some public spaces. In conclusion, most of the dangerous disease had been causes by all of the elements of cigarette. However, despite there are many harmful effect that come from cigarette most of people still smoke. Thus, the government must be used their authority to control the smoker or vanish the cigarette industry.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cigarettes
is the one perilous influences for human health and it should be
Did you mean "banned"?
ban
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. It
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
agreed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be concerned
at public health in the future. This essay will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
discuss


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
issue then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a reasoned conclusion.

Smoking has become daily necessities for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who addict with this toxic. Most of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
realize
the impact inside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
components. The smoke from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
might increasing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
number
of pollution and put the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
on the secondhand smoke. It is
Did you mean "well-known"?
well know
that smoking
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
causes


It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non communicable
disease such as cancer, heart disease and lung ailments.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
addict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be difficult and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstacles to control it. In

particular, it may
Did you mean "became"?
be came
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
industry while they have
Use past participle here: "contributed".
contribute
in
Possible agreement error. The noun sector seems to be countable; consider using: "many sectors".
many sector
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
state income budget. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the responsibilities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to force
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a regulation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
product
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
like


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
increasing
the tax of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
or build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
that there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
under the age can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
. On
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
hand, there is an attempt by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to build a smoking area in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public spaces.

In conclusion
, most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
disease had been causes by
Consider using "all the".
all of the
elements of cigarette.

However
, despite there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful effect that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
smoke.

Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their authority to control the smoker or vanish the cigarette

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
industry
.

IELTS essay Debating for Cigarette

Essay
  American English
17 paragraphs
255 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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