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Cyber-bullying and cybercrimes are seen to be on the rise today. What are the causes for this? What are the solutions for this problem?

Cyber-bullying and cybercrimes are seen to be on the rise today. What are the causes for this? What are the solutions for this problem? NREW
More and more people facing cyber crimes these days. The primary cause of this is the lack of web crimes laws and the other cause is criminals get released easily, it could be tackled by introducing stringent bills and launching an awareness campaign. The main reason many people are carrying out web-based offence is that the lack of laws. This is to say that many countries do not have proper laws about internet-based crimes. In addition, People who commit those crimes get away with it easily. This is because they just pay a small sum of the money to the police and get released from jail. As a result, these offences are increasing rapidly in the past few years. For Example, many people in Pakistan are being threatened that their personal data would be released on social media by cyberbullies if a large sum of the money would not be given to them. The long-term solution to this difficult situation is to introduce strict laws and implement them. They should know that they would be put behind bars if they commit such offences in the future. Moreover, The government should launch a publicity campaign for educating people about the regulation that are being introduced. So when they face such problems they know how to deal with the issue. For instance, People in Japan were facing such problems before the state took the initiative to make stringent laws and implement them nationwide which resulted in the reduction of such crimes. In conclusion, the number of cyberbullies carrying out offences is on the rise. Due to the lack of proper measure and the fact that they get released easily are causing that crime to increase, the most viable solution is the induction of a bill against cyber violence and public awareness teaching people about the laws.
More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
facing cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
these days. The primary cause of this is the lack of web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and the other cause is criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
easily
, it could
be tackled
by introducing stringent bills and launching an awareness campaign.

The main reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are carrying out web-based
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
is that the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
. This is to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries do not have proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
about internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who commit those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away with it
easily
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pay a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sum of the money to the police and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
from jail.
As a result
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
are increasing
rapidly
in the past few years.
For Example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Pakistan are
being threatened
that their personal data would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
on social media by cyberbullies if a large sum of the money would not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them.

The long-term solution to this difficult situation is to introduce strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and implement them. They should know that they would
be put
behind bars if they commit such
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
in the future.
Moreover
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should launch a publicity campaign for educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the regulation that are
being introduced
.
“So when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So when
they face such problems they know how to deal with the issue.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in Japan were facing such problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the state took the initiative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and implement them nationwide which resulted in the reduction of such crimes.

In conclusion
, the number of cyberbullies carrying out
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
is on the rise. Due to the lack of proper measure and the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
released
easily
are causing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to increase, the most viable solution is the induction of a bill against cyber violence and public awareness teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
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IELTS essay Cyber-bullying and cybercrimes are seen to be on the rise today. What are the causes for this? What are the solutions for this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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