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curfew imposed in some area of US

curfew imposed in some area of US RyopY
The restriction time on teenagers is applied in some cities with increased number of crimes in the united states, for this they need attending of an adult to be with them in the night time. This is required to minimize the threat that could affect the child in the time after sun set where is everybody else not around. In this essay will review my perspective regarding the reasons for time restrictions that are applied on specific group of age. The outdoor places can be dangerous for the children if they are playing around with no control. In some neighbors there is known environment for criminals and illicit drug seller. This can be risky as this group of people could offer their products or activities to an innocent child. This is important reason why they need to be accompanied with a grown person, so they are not exposed to such danger. Furthermore, the teenagers in the phase of life are excited to try different type of activities while they are not qualified enough to deal with some of the sequences. For example, when a child is late to come back home at 0200 am, there is big chance they will return home on foot. This can be dangerous as at this time the bars are open and the drunk people can follow them and threaten the child if they are alone. In conclusion, in my opinion I think curfew time is an important law to apply in some cities that are known for increased number of criminals as part of safety to protect children from risks. Moreover, in the cities with low risk to be exposed to criminals, there is a threaten for child to get attacked by a drunk person if they are alone on streets in late night time.
The restriction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is applied
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities with increased number of crimes in the
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
, for this they need attending of an adult to be with them in the night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This
is required
to minimize the threat that could affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after sun set where is everybody else not around. In this essay will review my perspective regarding the reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
restrictions that
are applied
on specific group of age.

The outdoor places can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the children if they are playing around with no control. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
neighbors there
is known
environment for criminals and illicit drug seller. This can be risky as this group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could offer their products or activities to an innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason why they need to be
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
a grown person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not exposed to such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in the phase of life
are excited
to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of activities while they are not qualified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to deal with
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
sequences.
For example
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is late to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home at 0200 am, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chance they will return home on foot. This can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the bars are open and the drunk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can follow them and threaten the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
if they are alone.

In conclusion
, in my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
curfew
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
law to apply in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities that
are known
for increased number of criminals as part of safety to protect children from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
Moreover
, in the cities with low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to
be exposed
to criminals, there is
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'threaten' is correct. If 'threaten' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a threaten
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attacked by a drunk person if they are alone on streets in late night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay curfew imposed in some area of US

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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