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Why Are High Schoolers Anxious?

Why Are High Schoolers Anxious? GwnmQ
Can you imagine that more than 76% of high schoolers suffer from panic disorder? Well, that’s the hard truth. According to the national institute of health, nearly 1 in 2 students has an anxiety disorder. These disorders don’t just affect the students themselves, but extend to effect their communities which makes anxiety a serious epidemic. Anxiety is a slow kill for students that prevents them from performing at their best. Anyone who went through high school will surely acknowledge the causes of anxiety. Although these causes are boundless, the common ones are high expectations, dealing with too many crucial tests, lack of information about this level and more. How can these cause the mental illness of the century: Anxiety? First of all, high expectations and pressure that is burden on high school students to succeed. High expectations lead to lots of unimaginable consequences such as panic attacks and insomnia which can eventually lead to a brutal breakdown. "Pressure generates explosion" is a well-known physical principle, but it applies to high school’s students' lives today. Actually, teenagers have a great enthusiasm to have fun, maintain active social lives, and be able to have different chores based on their interests, so let them enjoy this stage of their lives. Take a closer look to those who arrived to the top of the hill. They all have one common thing, failure, right before they became these great people we are inspired by now. A statistic that is done by Maya O’neil, a famous teenagers’ psychologist, shows that 66. 8% of those who succeeded weren’t suffering from any obligations to succeed. "Don’t go too hard on them. You will just get the inevitable end of every one who did so, failure. If not today, then tomorrow when they grow up. " Said Maya O'neil in one of her speeches about students. Second of all, having to deal with too many crucial tests that determine their future. High schoolers need to digest the fact that they are not young anymore. Today, they’re responsible for deciding their path for the rest of their lives. Well, this fact is a little bit harsh for them. Today, high schoolers are not just asked to perform at their best in school, but are obligated to achieve high grades in different entry exams to finally arrive to the faculty they desire. This idea haunts high school students as soon as they enter the world of maturity, thus, it causes anxiety and the package of disorders that comes along to it. A newly published scientific paper by the department of psychology in Harvard University, titled "Psychology of High Schoolers", and contained many different field experiences on a variety of high schoolers across the globe, came to a final recommendation to reduce the growing numbers of anxious and stressed high schoolers; " As the numbers of those who suffer from GAD, SAD and panic disorder has witnessed its climax nowadays, it’s a MUST to cut entry exams -At least into half- and replace them with other methods to evaluate students’ eligibility to go to college. " To sum up, anxiety is the mental illness of the century for sure, and doctors are advising us not to let it silently kill the roots of our nation: young people. The increasing number of teenagers who suffer from anxiety is a danger sign that is warning us from what will happen to our generation later on. Just ask yourself, how can these troubled kids be the teachers, doctors and engineers of the future? I’m sure that this question will spice up your thoughts and make you think thoroughly.
Can you imagine that more than 76% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schoolers suffer from panic disorder? Well, that’s the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
truth. According to the national institute of health,
nearly
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
1 in 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anxiety
disorder. These disorders don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
extend to effect their communities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anxiety
a serious epidemic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Anxiety
is a slow kill for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from performing at their best. Anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
surely
acknowledge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anxiety
. Although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
are boundless, the common ones are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
expectations, dealing with too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, lack of information about this level and more. How can these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the mental illness of the century: Anxiety?

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
expectations and pressure
that is
burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to succeed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
expectations lead to lots of unimaginable consequences such as panic attacks and insomnia which can
eventually
lead to a brutal breakdown.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Pressure generates explosion
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is a well-known physical principle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
. Actually,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have a great enthusiasm to have fun, maintain active social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, and be able to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
chores based on their interests,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them enjoy this stage of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Take a closer look to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
arrived to the top of the hill. They all have one common thing, failure, right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they became these great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we
are inspired
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. A statistic that
is done
by Maya O’
Possible spelling mistake found.
neil
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ psychologist,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 66. 8% of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
succeeded weren’t suffering from any obligations to succeed.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Don’t go too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on them. You will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the inevitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of every one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, failure. If not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
, then tomorrow when they grow up.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Said Maya O'
Possible spelling mistake found.
neil
in one of her speeches about students.

Second of all, having to deal with too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
that determine their future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
schoolers need to digest the fact that they are not young anymore.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
, they’re responsible for deciding their path for the rest of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Well, this fact is a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
harsh for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schoolers are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
asked to perform at their best in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are obligated
to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
grades in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
entry exams to
finally
arrive to the faculty they desire. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
haunts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they enter the world of maturity,
thus
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anxiety
and the package of disorders that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
along to it. A
newly
published scientific paper by the department of psychology in Harvard University, titled
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Psychology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
Schoolers
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, and contained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
field experiences on a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schoolers across the globe, came to a final recommendation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the growing numbers of anxious and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
schoolers;
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
As the numbers of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffer from GAD, SAD and panic disorder has witnessed its climax nowadays, it’s a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
MUST to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
entry exams -At least into half- and replace them with other methods to evaluate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
eligibility to go to college.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"


To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anxiety
is the mental illness of the century for sure, and doctors are advising us not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it
silently
kill the roots of our nation: young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
anxiety
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
that is
warning us from what will happen to our generation later on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
ask yourself, how can these troubled kids be the teachers, doctors and engineers of the future? I’m sure that this question will spice up your thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
thoroughly
.
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IELTS essay Why Are High Schoolers Anxious?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
603 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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