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a very short essay to evaluate

a very short essay to evaluate walwN
Since I was a child, consciously enough to be a consultant in my family, intelligent enough to be neglected. Life is full of opportunities. Therefore, we must exploit them. I’m a committed, courageous, and innovative student. Individuality drove me to the Mawhiba’s gate, which is a chance for young, passionate, and motivated leaders to show their qualifications. Being bullied in elementary school was challenging. Thus, instead of focusing being a valedictorian, I had another demanding purpose that attracted me most: changing the concept of bullying phenomena and raising awareness among students about its destructive impact on others to have a healthier learning environment. And somehow, I succeeded. In life journey, I believe that you should overcome your worse circumstances to survive. Meanwhile, you can’t survive alone when you’re in a boat full of ambitions, dreams, and challenges. Whenever I conceive my future, I contemplate Mawhiba. An unprofitable institution that can give such assists to promote academic levels of Saudi citizens. Dreams don’t have an expiration date, thus never stop dreaming, hopefully, dreams will lead you to unpredictable prospects to have an active role in 2030’s vision. “ we try to work only with dreamers” H. R. H Prince Mohammad Bin Salman. Lastly, experiences make you tougher, wiser, and more rational. Misk fellowship would be an unforgettable adventure since we will be involved in the highest worldwide universities. It will illuminate my future with the light of knowledge. Circumstances would never block our victorious window.
Since I was a child,
consciously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be a consultant in my family, intelligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
be neglected
. Life is full of opportunities.
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
exploit them. I’m a committed, courageous, and innovative student. Individuality drove me to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mawhiba
’s gate, which is a chance for young, passionate, and motivated leaders to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their qualifications.

Being bullied
in elementary school was challenging.
Thus
,
instead
of focusing being a valedictorian, I had another demanding purpose that attracted me most: changing the concept of bullying phenomena and raising awareness among students about its destructive impact on others to have a healthier learning environment. And somehow, I succeeded. In life journey, I believe that you should overcome your worse circumstances to survive. Meanwhile, you can’t survive alone when you’re in a boat full of ambitions, dreams, and challenges.

Whenever I conceive my future, I contemplate
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mawhiba
. An unprofitable institution that can give such assists to promote academic levels of Saudi citizens. Dreams don’t have an expiration date,
thus
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
dreaming,
hopefully
, dreams will lead you to unpredictable prospects to have an active role
The article is probably missing here: "in the 2030’s".
in 2030’s
vision. “
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
try to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with dreamers” H. R. H Prince Mohammad Bin Salman.

Lastly
, experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you tougher, wiser, and more rational.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Misk
fellowship would be an unforgettable adventure since we will
be involved
in the highest worldwide universities. It will illuminate my future with the light of knowledge. Circumstances would never block our victorious window.
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IELTS essay a very short essay to evaluate

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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