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Cultures around the world becoming more and more similar

Cultures around the world becoming more and more similar b3jWX
It is said that in today's globalized world cultures and traditions are indistinguishable to compare to last decades. This essay will discuss the main causes why people face to similarity are of influence wastern culture and give some possible development to this. To my mind, this have more negative outweigh positive. First of all, in this day and age advertisement are ubiquitous and play pivotal role in promoting latest trend and fashion followed by some developed countries. Many developing cultures people trying to adapt to the modern culture whether what it is about food, clothes and music. Furthemore, in social media sites especially young generations have common interests about music and they may immatiate to their fans with a lot of ways such as they reply to dance on behind tiktok dancers, girls who like to follow follow models are tend to make up their face, change their styles to look like like a kind of puppet or some open clothes attract more and more young people that it is seen as an image of modernity Personally i believe that this does not conform to the custom of some eastern peoples or some individuals argue that distorts the behaviour of the people Secondly, It is true that when people travel to abroad, it is comforting to use leisure amenities, people can eat in their favourite food no matter where this produced and listen some kind of music such as English music popular with everyone. Besides, this helps also economy of nation as international industry development and attracts more tourists. In conclusion, technological invention is main cause why cultures and societies are becoming more similar. However, this may leads to the lost of values of cultures around us.
It
is said
that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's globalized world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions are indistinguishable to compare to last decades. This essay will discuss the main causes why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face to similarity are of influence
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible development to this. To my mind,
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "this has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this have
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outweigh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in this day and age advertisement are ubiquitous and play pivotal role in promoting
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
trend and fashion followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trying to adapt to the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
whether what it is about food, clothes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthemore
, in social media sites
especially
young generations have common interests about
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
music and
they may
Possible spelling mistake found.
immatiate
to their fans with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ways such as they reply to dance on behind
Possible spelling mistake found.
tiktok
dancers, girls who like to
Possible typo: you repeated a word
follow follow
models are
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up their face,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their styles to look
Possible typo: you repeated a word
like like
a kind of puppet or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
open clothes attract more and more young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an image of modernity
Personally
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that this does not conform to the custom of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that distorts the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


Secondly
, It is true that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel to abroad, it is comforting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
leisure amenities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can eat in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
food no matter where this produced and listen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
such as English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
popular with everyone.
Besides
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
also
economy of nation as international industry development and attracts more tourists.

In conclusion
, technological invention is main cause why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and societies are becoming more similar.
However
, this may leads to the lost of values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
around us.
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IELTS essay Cultures around the world becoming more and more similar

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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