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Culture affects perception, and perceptions drive behavior. Thus, the culture we belong to has a

Culture affects perception, and perceptions drive behavior. Thus, the culture we belong to has a j8LYd
Culture affects perception, and perceptions drive behavior. Thus, the culture we belong to has a direct impact on our behavior. Moreover, our environment, which has cultural influences, shapes our behavior. Behavioral and communication etiquette is a part of our culture. What our culture teaches us affects the way we interact socially. People from some cultures are found to be more open in communicating even with strangers or new acquaintances, while those from conservative cultures may not be so open. The difference between ideologies their cultures have is thus evident in their social behavior. Another example of behavior-creating culture and vice versa is the culture of competition. Children in most societies learn to compete with other children at an early age. They compete in intelligence in school; they compete in physical appearance when they enter beauty pageants or when mothers praise them by belittling other children. Children go on to grow up with the behavior to compete and be better than the next person. The culture of competition grows and prevails as a result.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
affects perception, and perceptions drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
we belong to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "have".
has
a direct impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
.
Moreover
, our environment, which has cultural influences, shapes our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. Behavioral and communication etiquette is a part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. What our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
teaches us affects the way we interact
socially
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are found
to be more open in communicating even with strangers or new acquaintances, while those from conservative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
open. The difference between ideologies their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
have is
thus
evident in their social behavior.

Another example of behavior-creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and vice versa is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of competition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
in most societies learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an early age. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
in intelligence in school; they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
in physical appearance when they enter beauty pageants or when mothers praise them by belittling other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
go on to grow up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compete
and be better than the
next
person. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of competition grows and prevails
as a result
.
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IELTS essay Culture affects perception, and perceptions drive behavior. Thus, the culture we belong to has a

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
173 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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