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CRIME RATE AMONG TEENAGERS HAS INCREASED DRAMMATICALLY

CRIME RATE AMONG TEENAGERS HAS INCREASED DRAMMATICALLY do3Op
Crime among the youth became a social problem over the last decade. This rate is increasing incredibly day by day. This essay will touch the problems about the crime and some solutions of it. There are a lot of crime reasons as poverty, peer pressure, unfair judicial system, family conditions, drug addiction, politics, religion, racism, deprivation, society, unemployment, etc. But generally we can separate it into two common: material and spiritual. Spiritual reasons should be called such as psychological, biological, material reasons are connected with financial problems. I would like to mention details. First of all, ignorance, poor educational backgrounds stands behind one of the main reasons of crime. It is not the mere reason of homicide. As a psychological cause, I can mention anger, greed, low self-esteem, neglect of families to their children, etc. Even the most crucial and widespread reason is drug and alcohol abuse. And of course this reason stands to psychological causes, too. Material reasons exist, too. As far as I know financial problems trigger off the crime. The most common is unemployment. People can’t gain, they are not able to get succeed what they want and it brings greed and envy the people around them and the last, crime is committed. There are some ways of solution to avoid the youth from the crime. First of all, the parents should be attentive about their children to avoid the crime. It should be begun to prepare them from childhood. The families must not deprive of their children from love and attention. They must get good educational skills, especially social sciences. The government should do a lot of things about avoiding from crime as to reduce the unemployment or to get the severest laws against the drug trade and the severest punishment for that. In conclusion, it is crucial to stay away from crime. The world is completely blind in separating needs from desires. Even if you have less money for survival, you must be happy with it instead of willing to contour yourself in the pool of crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
among the youth became a social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
over the last decade. This rate is increasing
incredibly
day by day. This essay will touch the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions of it.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
as poverty, peer pressure, unfair judicial system, family conditions, drug addiction, politics, religion, racism, deprivation, society, unemployment, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
generally
we can separate it into two common: material and spiritual. Spiritual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
should
be called
such as psychological, biological, material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are connected
with financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. I would like to mention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, ignorance, poor educational backgrounds stands behind one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. It is not the mere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of homicide. As a psychological cause, I can mention anger, greed, low self-esteem, neglect of families to their children, etc. Even the most crucial and widespread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is drug and alcohol abuse. And
of course
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
stands to psychological causes, too. Material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
exist, too.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
far as I know financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
trigger off the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The most common is unemployment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can’t gain, they are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
succeed what they want and it brings greed and envy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them and the last,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is committed
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways of solution to avoid the youth from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the parents should be attentive about their children to avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. It should
be begun
to prepare them from childhood. The families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not deprive of their children from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and attention. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
especially
social sciences. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things about avoiding from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the severest laws against the drug trade and the severest punishment for that.

In conclusion
, it is crucial to stay away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The world is completely blind in separating needs from desires. Even if you have less money for survival, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be happy with it
instead
of willing to contour yourself in the pool of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
crime
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IELTS essay CRIME RATE AMONG TEENAGERS HAS INCREASED DRAMMATICALLY

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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