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Crime in Juvenile delicuency

Crime in Juvenile delicuency Ydw6B
Presently, many happen juvenile delinquency. This is because, lack contacts between the children and their parents. Moreover, negative an impact of less communication which close with parents is the children feeling lonely. Nowdays, many people believe that children and their parents less close. This is because, more often children alone or with nannies or babysitters as busy parents, so less contact with their children. In addition, in the past Women at home to cook, clean and look after children. In order to they only job at home because not yet knowledge development compared to now most women choice become carrer women due to change mindset pattern current develop. For example, in 2017, according to research by Dr. Jhonson shown that the children much more keeped by babysistters than their parents because they working along day with labour time approxmately 12 hours per days. That is why, the children more close with nannies. Futhermore, in the past the women demanded for servis their husband. Many people view the hold that juvenile delinquency increase. There is also argument that many parents have no idea as juvenile delinquency by peer pressure as well as some of them join gangs. In addition, lack of communication between children and parents makes children out of control outside the home. An example, in Jakarta, 2018, has reported by Metro Jaya Police that every day recorded one hundared event, and always happened riot more which caused of teenagers such as brawl, drunkenness, theft, and using illegal drugs. As a result, many young people lost in the future. Therefore, the government must made workshop about juvenile delinquency to youth for avoid like that occur. In conclusion, the children that have babysitters from little tend to seldom interaction between parents, due to their more busy at outside home. Consequently, nowadays many young people do juvenile delinquency. Futhermore, parents should divide the time and often communicate with children to find out their complaints.
Presently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
happen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delinquency
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, lack contacts between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
an impact of less communication which close with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feeling lonely.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
less close. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
alone or with nannies or babysitters as busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
less contact with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In addition
, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
at home to cook, clean and look after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In order to they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
job at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
yet
knowledge development compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
choice become
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
mindset pattern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
develop.
For example
, in 2017, according to research by Dr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jhonson
shown that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
much more
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "kept", the past tense form of the verb 'keep'?
keeped
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
babysistters
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "they're working", "they are working", or "they were working"?
they working
along day with
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
approxmately
12 hours per days.
That is
why, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more close with nannies.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, in the past the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
demanded for
Possible spelling mistake found.
servis
their husband.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
view the hold that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delinquency
increase. There is
also
argument that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delinquency
by peer pressure
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
gangs.
In addition
, lack of communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
out of control outside the home. An example, in Jakarta, 2018, has reported by Metro
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaya
Police that every day recorded one
Possible spelling mistake found.
hundared
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, and always happened riot more which caused of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
such as brawl, drunkenness, theft, and using illegal drugs.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost in the future.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
made workshop about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delinquency
to youth for avoid like that occur.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that have babysitters from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
tend to seldom interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, due to their more busy at outside home.
Consequently
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delinquency
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should divide the time and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to find out their complaints.

IELTS essay Crime in Juvenile delicuency

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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