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Crime has been increased these days. Do you agree

Crime has been increased these days. Do you agree G3ANm
Day by day, a crime has became more common issue not only in our country but all around the world. From my point of view, government should punish someone according to their commited crime. The last ten years a crime has been increased around the world. In order to prevent this government should admit an appropriate punishment. Thus, some people says that a crime should have unchangeable punishment. If any kind of crime has a fixed punishment, people may not offend it again as they know the consequences of it. However, a fixed punishment for a crime might not be a right way to judge. As far as, some people would not mind to kill someone. Another reason is just they would become a victim of the accident. For example, a man raped a woman. In order to protect herself that woman killed him by accident. Due to woman shouldn’t be judged so strict as self-protection isn’t considered to be a crime. All in all, I agree with the statement that someone should be punished taking the consequencess of the crime into account. government should admit a right judgment for all of the prisoners depending on their commited crimes.
Day by day, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
more common issue not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in our country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all around the world. From my point of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should punish someone according to their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
crime.

The last ten years a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has
been increased
around the world. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should admit an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should have unchangeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. If any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may not offend it again as they know the consequences of it.

However
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
might not be a right way to judge. As far as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not
The verb 'mind' is used with the gerund form: "mind killing".
mind to kill
someone. Another reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
they would become a victim of the accident.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
raped a woman. In order to protect herself that woman killed him by accident. Due to woman shouldn’t
be judged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strict as self-protection isn’t considered to be a crime.

All in all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that someone should
be punished
taking the
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequencess
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
into account.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
government
should admit a right judgment for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
prisoners depending on their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
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IELTS essay Crime has been increased these days. Do you agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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