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Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extend do you agree

Our feelings, thoughts, voids, and pains are presented through arts such as acting, music and painting namely a few. Some people believe in the inappropriateness of letting artists openly show their thoughts and sentiments; the authorities are in charge of censorship. Nonetheless, to me it seems pointless limiting them; I believe liberating them lets the unsaid be told, helps the society grow and leads to a much creative community.   Firstly, as every one of us has undergone, some things in life cannot be explained in words since they are incapable of conveyance, so the transmission key is in hands of arts. For instance, I always had a lot to say whereas I never could, now that I am participating in acting classes, I feel much better as I have found ways to express my emotions. Moreover, not everything is sayable; to faithfully deliver the message, more sophisticated tools are needed.   Additionally, the more human beings keep their thoughts as secrets, the more they fall behind and vice-versa; that is, blocking people draws the society to a halt meeting opportunities. In the 21st century, the third world countries are the ones that have been restricting the artistic people for a long time.   Furthermore, innovativeness comes where no one is terrified of openness. Galileo showed us how it was like to live in a reactionary regime as he discovered the global shape of the earth, dared to break the news, and how he confronted the suppressive consequences. Al-Hallaj, the Iranian mystic philosopher is another case in hand when said “I’m the truth” and was hanged mistaken for “I’m God. ”   To put it in a nutshell, even though some people find it unsuitable to allow artists to articulate, I am certain that no one has the right to circumscribe any creature; yet, it is not an absolutely implicit attitude.
Our feelings, thoughts, voids, and pains
are presented
through arts such as acting, music and painting
namely
a few.
Some
people
believe in the inappropriateness of letting artists
openly
show
their thoughts and sentiments; the authorities are in charge of censorship. Nonetheless, to me it seems pointless limiting them; I believe liberating them
lets
the unsaid be
told
,
helps
the society grow and leads to a much creative community.  
Firstly
, as every one of us has undergone,
some
things in life cannot be
explained
in words since they are incapable of conveyance,
so
the transmission key is in hands of arts.
For instance
, I always had a lot to say whereas I never could,
now
that I am participating in acting classes, I feel much better as I have found ways to express my emotions.
Moreover
, not everything is sayable; to
faithfully
deliver the message, more sophisticated tools
are needed
.  
Additionally
, the more human beings
keep
their thoughts as secrets, the more they fall behind and vice-versa;
that is
, blocking
people
draws the society to a halt meeting opportunities. In the 21st century, the third world countries are the ones that have been restricting the artistic
people
for a long time.  
Furthermore
, innovativeness
comes
where no one
is terrified
of openness. Galileo
showed
us how it was like to
live
in a reactionary regime as he discovered the global shape of the earth, dared to break the news, and how he confronted the suppressive consequences. Al-Hallaj, the Iranian mystic philosopher is another case in hand when said “I’m the truth” and
was hanged
mistaken for “I’m God. ”   To put it in a nutshell,
even though
some
people
find it unsuitable to
allow
artists to articulate, I am certain that no one has the right to circumscribe any creature;
yet
, it is not an
absolutely
implicit attitude.
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IELTS essay Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extend do you agree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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