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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world 509A
At several places, you wrote country names with the first alphabet small case. I’ve changed them to upper case. Avoid this mistake. Our world has become a global village after globalization and import export of goods throughout the world. As a result, people across the world are able to purchase the same kind of things and seem to look more alike. This essay states that this is a positive development due to its ability to create strong international relationships and easy access of to branded items at their own place. To begin with, the availability of the same kind of products throughout the world depicts harmony among countries. In other words, exporting various items to different countries helps in reducing the conflicts among the nations. To illustrate this, availability of Chinese products in Pakistan shows the better understanding and mutual peaceful relations relationship. Moreover, a person can get a variety of high-quality internationally produced items in their his home country without going abroad to buy them. Being in a developing country like Pakistan, one can enjoy the top quality imported items of developed countries, such as, Apple phones and Sony laptops. However, as people of the advanced world prefer to buy branded things, they neglect the locally manufactured goods. Because of this, local retailers get at a loss in selling their locally regionally produced materials that depict the culture of a nation. For instance, the embroidered fabrics and hand-made crafts highlight the culture and tradition of Pakistan. When the local community overlook overlooks them and buy buys imported and branded goods, they tend to get away from their culture. To sum up, although at the cost of loss of Despite loss to local retailers, the sale of similar international branded goods worldwide is a positive development as this ties the countries in a tight bond and makes easy access for them at in their home country.
At several places, you wrote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
names with the
first
alphabet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
case. I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
them to upper case. Avoid this mistake.

Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become a global village after globalization and import export of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the same kind of things and seem to look more alike. This essay states that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development due to its ability to create strong international relationships and easy access of to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the availability of the same kind of products throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
depicts harmony among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In other words
, exporting various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in reducing the conflicts among the nations. To illustrate this, availability of Chinese products in Pakistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the better understanding and mutual peaceful relations relationship.
Moreover
, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a variety of high-quality
internationally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
in their his home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
without going abroad to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
them. Being in a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like Pakistan, one can enjoy the top quality imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as, Apple phones and Sony laptops.

However
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
things, they neglect the
locally
manufactured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Because of this
, local retailers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at a loss in selling their
locally
regionally
produced materials that depict the culture of a nation.
For instance
, the embroidered fabrics and hand-made crafts highlight the culture and tradition of Pakistan. When the local community overlook overlooks them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
imported and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from their culture.

To sum up, although at the cost of loss of Despite loss to local retailers, the sale of similar international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
worldwide is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as this ties the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in a tight bond and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
easy access for them at in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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