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contrast two people interm of appearance and personality

contrast two people interm of appearance and personality paAVy
what are the differences between your mom and teacher? Though, some people say that schoolmistress is the same as your mom at school. Similarly, my Mom and preceptor, are one-of-a-kind in many ways. They seem to have several dissimilarities such as appearance, characteristics The first difference between them is their appearance. My mom is a pretty woman at the age of forty-seven, and she is a good-looking person as well. She has short dark hair which gracefully encircles her V-triangle face. I have to admit that whenever I look at her face, her eyes look as if all the stars in the galaxy are shining down on our planet. Fleshy nose as well as full lips are bonus marks that highlight her beauty. She has a sense of style, actually, thanks to knowing how to mix and match variance of clothes in order to make the best outfit, which makes her appear refined in the eyes. . . . In constrast，my teacher is no longer youthful appearance since he was over. middle-aged 5 years ago. Not only was his beauty atrophied with time because the time gilders by, but it was also embellished by freckles and wrinkles. He has got a square face and a short black hair. It is a mustache that fully embraces his chin and makes me scare whenever I am asked to answer his questions. Apart from these imperfect sides, I have no suggestion of men who is under six feet tall like him. On the other hand, their personalities are the aspect that makes my mom distinct from my teacher. My mother is a very persistent person. She has encountered various problems, so she has lots of valuable experiences and life lessons to pass on to me. No matter how much I ask her for advice which I wonder about, she gives me a lot of thoughtful recommendations in a considerate way. . However, my preceptor is an unpleasant person. My teacher usually ticks me off or shout at me even though I am questioning him for his new lesson, and it is his obligations and responsibilities which he obviously does for us. To sum up, they are different in several ways, including appearance, personality. I still respect both of them very much. Thanks to their bit of bits of help, it makes me more perfectly and well.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
are the differences between your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
and teacher?

Though,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that schoolmistress is the same as your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
at school.
Similarly
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mom
and preceptor, are one-of-a-kind in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

They seem to have several dissimilarities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
, characteristics

The
first
difference between them is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
is a pretty woman at the age of forty-seven, and she is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-looking person
as well
. She has short dark hair which
gracefully
encircles her V-triangle face. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that whenever I look at her face, her eyes look as if all the stars in the galaxy are shining down on our planet. Fleshy nose
as well
as full lips are bonus marks that highlight her beauty. She has a sense of style, actually, thanks to knowing how to mix and match variance of clothes in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the best outfit, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
her appear refined in the eyes.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


In
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "constrast, my".
constrast，my
teacher is no longer youthful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
since he was over.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
middle-aged
5 years ago. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
was his beauty atrophied with time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the time gilders by,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
also
embellished by freckles and wrinkles. He has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a square face and a short black hair. It is a mustache that
fully
embraces his chin and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me scare whenever I
am asked
to answer his questions. Apart from these imperfect sides, I have no suggestion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who is under six feet tall like him.

On the other hand
, their personalities are the aspect that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
distinct from my teacher.

My mother is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
persistent person.

She has encountered various problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she has lots of valuable experiences and life lessons to pass on to me. No matter how much I ask her for advice which I wonder about, she gives me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
thoughtful recommendations
Consider replacing "in a considerate way" with the adverb for "considerate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a considerate way
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
However
, my preceptor is an unpleasant person. My teacher
usually
ticks me off or shout at me
even though
I am questioning him for his new lesson, and it is his obligations and responsibilities which he
obviously
does for us.

To sum up, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in several ways, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
, personality. I
still
respect both of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. Thanks to their bit of bits of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me more
perfectly
and well.
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IELTS essay contrast two people interm of appearance and personality

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
393 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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