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Consider the issue of technology and general knowledge. Do you think that people nowadays rely too much on technology for general knowledge and this has led to a loss of general knowledge?

Consider the issue of technology and general knowledge. Do you think that people nowadays rely too much on technology for general knowledge and this has led to a loss of general knowledge? xa9g1
Technology is one of the great advances of mankind, it’s increasingly developing for consumer trends. This will make people continue to misuse it and the general knowledge will be lost. I agree that in some cases, technology is not really the reason for the loss of general knowledge, it’s just a tool to make problems easier. With the continued advance of technology, people tend to rely more on it and having confidence in it unconditionally. The reason for this trust is the development of technology in each generation, they are created then upgraded and improved to be better than the old versions follow the consumer trend. The purpose is to settle all problems in people's lives easily, conveniently, and quickly and save more time than before Futhermore, technology also is a superb storage tool with a capability to submit the results rapidly. However, because of this utility, people gradually become addicted to it, which leads to many consequences including general knowledge is missed. For example, some of students who are in good financial condition will tend to use technology to cheat in exams instead of reviewing the knowledge that the teacher has taught as a background. In brief, the general knowledge will not be buried in oblivion if you consult and learn more from relevant information sources, experience, books, etc. , you will absorb a lot of profitable knowledge and technology will help you store that knowledge.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is one of the great advances of mankind, it’s
increasingly
developing for consumer trends. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
continue to misuse it and the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
will
be lost
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is not
really
the reason for the loss of general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a tool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
problems easier.

With the continued advance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to rely more on it and having confidence in it
unconditionally
. The reason for this trust is the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in each generation, they
are created
then upgraded and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to be better than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
versions follow the consumer trend. The purpose is to settle all problems in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easily
,
conveniently
, and
quickly
and save more time than
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
before


Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
is a superb storage tool with a capability to submit the results
rapidly
.
However
,
because of this
utility,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gradually
become addicted to it, which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "including". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences including
general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is missed
.
For example
,
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the students") or simply say "some students".
some of students
who are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
financial condition will tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to cheat in exams
instead
of reviewing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that the teacher has taught as a background.

In brief
, the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
will not
be buried
in oblivion if you consult and learn more from relevant information sources, experience, books, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
you will absorb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
profitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you store that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
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IELTS essay Consider the issue of technology and general knowledge. Do you think that people nowadays rely too much on technology for general knowledge and this has led to a loss of general knowledge?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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